My nails are wet!

Tonight I cleaned up/picked up in order for someone to come actually clean my house tomorrow - makes no sense but when I get home and it smells good and everything is put away, I will be happy!

To avoid the few remaining piles of things to be put away, I decided to paint my nails after taking the puppies out one last time. Now I can't do anything. If I start a movie, I won't fall asleep because I will want to finish it. I can't continue to pick things up and put them away or I will mess up my nails. I could read I suppose. Never thought about that!

Tonight I had some realizations. I have been struggling with something pretty huge and I think I about narrowed down the potential causes. Have you ever heard the phrase "permission to heal"? I heard it tonight. I spoke to someone about my recent relational mishaps and determined that I have never given myself permission to heal - whether it be from the one huge disaster in my life back in 2010, or all the little "oops"'s along the way. It's like spraining your ankle....

You sprain your ankle; it starts to feel better so you go back out to cheer or play or whatever it is you want to do, and then you sprain it again (easier this time) because it never fully healed the first time. It's a terrible thing, sitting on the sidelines. But, if you never let your ankle heal by taking it easy and sitting out a game or two, you will never reach your full potential. Then you start wondering "why" and thinking "I'm not good enough" and all sorts of bad and pessimistic things.

But when we start questioning ourselves, what does that say about the sovereignty of God? We have to, I definitely have to, remember that He is in control, He has an amazing plan in store, and only He knows how the puzzle fits together. When we try and take things into our own hands, we miss out on His will. He can dodge any curveball we throw His way; straying off the path doesn't phase Him. We have to trust that He will take care and provide for us in His timing.

We shouldn't seek a quick fix for our problems. We shouldn't become so self protective that we become self destructive. We should give ourselves permission to heal.

Well, darn it. This only took like 7 minutes to write. I really don't want to repaint my nails! I guess I will read my "Extraordinary Women of the Bible" book :) an excellent recommendation by my good friend AB in CC!

Have an awesome, blessed week. If you're hurting - let yourself heal. Don't go spraining your ankle over and over again yall! God wants you at your best so let Him take care of you.