6 Things I Do During Pregnancy...And Need To Do After

So, round 3 of pregnancy and I've been wondering this a lot lately. Probably because I've noticed my own behavior! We read articles and talk to friends and get input on what to do during pregnancy, to ensure a healthy and happy baby and momma. But, my question is, why don't we do this all the time? And not just women but, men too.

Here are a few things I've made mental note of recently that I pay much more attention to during pregnancy than during normal life (I say that because at this point in my life, I feel like I am pregnant more often than I am not!).

1. Establishing a good skin care routine.

Our skin does CRAY CRAY things while pregnant. Some of us break out like mad, some of us get pregnancy mask or melasma and some of us clear up like we haven't even hit puberty yet. Regardless, I notice that I pay much closer attention to my skin while pregnant. This is great, yes, but I need to keep it up after pregnancy too because, Lord knows the skin goes bonkers a few times trying to regulate those pesky hormones. 

2. Watching what goes on and in our body

Point #2 goes hand in hand with the above. I don't use products with retinol while pregnant or super harsh chemicals. I do make sure my skin is hydrated (I use this stuff and it's bomb: Active Hydration Body Cream) because with each pregnancy and while nursing, I feel like these babies literally suck me dry (and stretch marks are the devil but are inevitable sometimes). Also, I am not a naturalist by any means but essential oils are amazing for all life seasons and ages and ailments. I tend to run my diffuser into the garbage and douse kids with EO's while pregnant and I should be doing that all. the. time. 

I've also been watching what I eat. Besides the fact that this pregnancy has been full of cravings, I have been super mindful of what's going in my body. Mainly from a weight gaining standpoint but I need to be more consistent during the "off pregnancy" times. Lots of leafy greans, lean proteins, minimal carbs and dairy. But always ice cream. 

3. Working out and/or staying active

No one tells you how your shoulders will ache from carrying a 7 pound baby for 20 minutes. Or how your back will feel like it's going to spasm into oblivion after they've finally latched to nurse and there's no way in hell you're moving to get that boppy. Or how physically demanding labor and c-section recovery can be. But, you figure it out pretty dern fast. I won't say it's too late, but be careful trying to catch up when trying to get those weighted exercises in. Get clearance from your doctor and even still, take it easy. Working out and staying active before and during pregnancy make the transition to newbornhood/motherhood so much easier. You feel yourself faster and don't fatigue as quickly. Your stamina for those 2am parties will astound you. 

Don't stop there - keep up the activity after baby is born. He or she will need you even more outside of the womb. Your physical ability to keep up with mommy duties is overwhelming mentally, but it doesn't have to be overwhelming physically. 

4. Taking vitamins - and lots of them

Kind of like what I am putting into my body, I need to keep in mind the benefits of vitamins and probiotics! Probiotics are so good for baby (I wrote some notes on reflux and it mentions probiotics as a helpful aid) and mommy's gut health. Also, a prenatal may not be enough for you. Consider your food intake - do you need to supplement iron, calcium, DHA, vitamin D and the B's, or did you not get enough fruits and veggies (because all day sickness is REAL) that a food based vitamin could help? I absolutely love all the gummy vitamins - I take several - one with a probiotic, juice plus gummies to help get all those essential fruits and vegetables in, and a prenatal with DHA - I also take an iron supplement. I do all of this while nursing too but then I eventually leave a few off and end up only taking them here and there - bad girl! 

5. Getting enough sleep

Easier said than done while pregnant, I get this. However, I have made it a priority while pregnant - which is weird for me because I am usually one who can operate on little sleep. If you're not getting enough sleep pregnant or not, maybe evaluate what is really keeping you up - do you need to do meditation/prayer before bed to unwind, do you need a new mattress, do you need to politely ask your husband to go in the other room because he snores or wear some ear plugs? Sleep is so important for everyone. It improves brain function in EVERYONE. We encourage our littles to sleep so they can grow big and strong.

Why don't we take it more seriously when we aren't pregnant?

6. Watching my demeanor and tone of voice with my spouse and kids

Oh man, for the sake of all things holy why must hormones make us lose our ever living minds? I would love to go more than a week without wigging out on someone in my house. It is really, really hard and has gotten progressively worse with each pregnancy. I know better. So I need to be better. Grace is tossed around like pixie dust in my house, thankfully! This is a reminder for myself during and after this baby comes! They don't deserve it and I hate how it makes me feel. Keeping calm, generally keeps everyone calm. Apparently that is a harder lesson to learn than it really should be.

The list may sound obvious but point me to one person who is consistent with ALL of these things, ALL the time, so that I may shake their hand.

Pinterest Win or Pinterest Fail: Nursery #3 Reveal!

A few weeks ago I posted this blog for baby #3's nursery inspo.

I am happy to say the nursery is DONE! We made it our mission to be done before the holidays and we knocked it all out just in time for Thanksgiving, and that is something to be thankful for! Now we can sit back and enjoy one last holiday season with only 4 little feet running around as opposed to 6 (eek!).

Oddly enough, maybe because it's 3rd times a charm, I don't know, but this was the EASIEST of the three nurseries! Now, I fear my husband might make me spruce up the other two because this one is.. legit, for lack of a better term.

Now, was this a Pinterest Win or Pinterest Fail? I'm calling it a win - maybe not exactly how I imagined when first perusing Pinterest but, definitely perfect for welcoming home our Violet Blake. (Side note: every time I walk by the room, I smile a little on the inside. This is one room I am insanely proud of!)

Here it is, the (third) big reveal! I literally linked almost everything - the wall paint is Gentle Rain by Bher.

This is the wall across from the entry. 

Curtains: Z Gallerie (used to hang in our old living room); Rocker: who knows, used with two previous babies; Basket: Container Store (here); Wooden stool: At Home (here); Geometric Shelves: Hobby Lobby (two sizes - here) but I added the paper to them (it's wrapping paper that I cut to fit and used modge podge to adhere to the metal; the paper matches the pillow!); Swag: Hobby Lobby (here); Dresser: mine from when I was little, re-purposed once for my son and then again for baby #3 - bought gold hardware from Home Depot and used left over navy paint from our kitchen remodel; Lamp: At Home (here); Curtain Rod: Amazon (here); Pillow: Here

This wall is to the left of the changing table/dresser and faces the closet.

Name sign: Etsy (shop here) - I spray painted it with gold glitter when it arrived; Pictures: Hobby Lobby (elephant & ikat) - I used gold paint on the frames and on the pictures themselves, I also had a monogram made and stuck it onto the ikat print (see below); Flowers: a mix of Hobby Lobby (here) and the others were donated by a friend - I used blush pink chalk paint (find it here) on a few of them; Crib: Babyletto but was my daughter's before; Crib Sheet: Amazon (find it here); Basket: Container Store (here)

This is a bit of wall space next to the closet. My dad built the bookshelf and it's original purpose was to hide behind a door, however, the closet doors are behind the entry door. I love how this little corner turned out, though! Wall art: Hobby Lobby; Hooks: Amazon (here). 

This wall is just to the left of the entry, so just inside the room. 

White shelf: used for other daughter's room previously, Hobby Lobby; Arrow: Hobby Lobby and added the twine for the bows; Globe: Hobby Lobby; Shelves: Hobby Lobby (see above); Mirror: Hobby Lobby (here); Baskets: Container Store (here); Rug: RugsUSA (here) and OMG!!! This rug is AMAZING and actually REALLY soft!  

Here are some pictures of a few of the DIY's from above: 

     

Colic Shmolic

Once our daughter was diagnosed with silent reflux, ie. the silent parent killer...kidding... I got to work on ways to try to help her before resorting to meds. We aren't for or against vaccines or meds but, she was SO little and giving a baby strong steroids was really not ideal for us or my conscience. I've written this out for so many friends and family, I thought it was time to just post it!

First things first, if anyone tells you that your baby has colic, as if it's just a thing that happens and there is nothing you can do about it - shame on them and keep looking for answers. Babies cry for a REASON. They wake up in the night screaming for a REASON. It is not normal or acceptable, it is absolutely not your fault, and I highly encourage you to SEEK HELP, RESEARCH, and ASK QUESTIONS.

After visiting with doctors, scouring the internet, meeting with a certified lactation consultant - here is a run down of all I know now and ALL.THE.THINGS we did to help - either that or she outgrew it! Which is kind of fantastic, too. I've also attached links to the products purchased below.

1. I know this sounds obvious but, you'd be surprised (I mean, have you read some of these mom group questions? You know what I'm talking about) - eliminate anything that makes your tummy rumble like foods, drinks or vitamins high in fiber. In fact, if nursing, I would eliminate all of that from the beginning - including all dairy and coffee and coke (any diuretics and caffeinated products).

2. I found, during our research, that babies who aren’t fully developed often have this issue - though a LOT of full term/larger and older babies have it, too. They either don’t have a proper flap (I'm not a doctor so bare with me, the thing attached to their esophagus that can cause hiccups!) so any milk intake can come up and it can burn! Also, their tummy and digestive system may not produce enough cell salt (a natural tums/antacid). You can help both of these and hopefully, eventually, God-willing baby will outgrow it (that’s some good news). Cell salt used and regimen followed is below.

3. When nursing - this was INCREDIBLY helpful to know - your milk sacs are made up of things like grapes. So when you squeeze a grape, juice comes out and then there is the gooey stuff attached to the grape's skin. Well your thick and heavy milk sticks to the “skin” of these sacs - yes, there is some even if you are past the colostrum stage. Your goal should be to release or detach the heavy milk from the milk sac/skin and nurse until your breast is completely, totally empty. I used to nurse equal lengths of time on both sides, mainly because I heard stories where some babies ended up with a preference of side - which, compared to silent reflux, is the least of my worries! I understand the importance of nursing until one side is totally empty and simply offering the second breast if they're still hungry (then start the next feeding on the side you ended with). Allowing baby to get that thick, hind milk ensures the weight of the milk will stay down in baby's tummy better. This is also why reflux seems to "go away", because they start to eat heavier foods eventually. THE TRICK: To help aid in getting the hind/heavy milk to release from the milk sac, if you seem to have trouble, is this - towards the end of a feeding, microwave a sock filled with rice for about 30 seconds or less, hold it on your breast (be careful it's not too hot because it will be touching baby, potentially) to warm your breast, and massage all around as she nurses.

4. Nurse baby at as high of an angle is comfortable for you.

5. Also, don't lay baby down or put them on their tummy for about 20 minutes after feeding - this will help tremendously. When you do lay baby down, try to prop up whatever she is laying on or in, if possible.

6. When we were really at a loss we gave baby colic tablets and mylecon (gas drops) to help ease the tummy.

7.  Make sure their latch is good. Nursing should not hurt but if she is sucking air, that will make it worse - even bottles can allow air into a baby's tummy so watch closely, burp often, and maybe try a few bottles before committing to one brand/style.

8.  Don’t bounce baby - sounds obvious but throwing it out there!

9. I know pacifiers are helpful and pure sanity savers but, if you can stand it, try not to use them. Baby may end up sucking in air and you might not know it.

10. Last but not least, since I was nursing, I got started on a probiotic and (regardless of nursing) we started to give probiotics to baby morning and night. Probiotics help aid in digestion and since that's the root cause of silent reflux, it definitely didn't hurt.

The regimen we had:
Before nursing or bottle feeding:  We gave 1 cell salt and 1 colic tablet. After feeding we gave 1 of each again and some mylecon drops. We also gave her jaro drops, an infant probiotic recommended by our doctor, morning and night. Doing these things consistently was a LIFE SAVER!! It was at the peak of her reflux, around 6-9 weeks. Then she either outgrew it or the stuff worked well!!

We did end up putting our daughter on Zantac for a few weeks for sanity sake. It did help but we gave it sparingly - only at night and not consistently.

Products purchased/used:

Hyland's - Natrum Phos. 6x, 500 tablets https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0014ARBN4/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_9qYFBb61ZG6T7

Hyland's Homeopathic Baby Colic Tablets, 125 Count https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IYB6RX0/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_TrYFBbVTWSN1J

Mylicon Infant Drops Anti-Gas Relief Dye Free formula, 1.0 Fluid Ounce https://www.amazon.com/dp/B011EVPAHG/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_gtYFBbMSCWAVW

Jarrow Formulas Baby's Jarro-Dophilus Drops, 1 Billion Cells Per 6 Drops, Supports Intestinal & Immune Health, 8 ml  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N51XLUX/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U__VOU.Bb1GAR5CW

I hope these tips help for your sweet baby. If you are nursing, paying for the attention and help of a certified LC is HIGHLY recommended. Also, remember, the diet changes are temporary and hopefully this is, too.

**This is not actual, legal, medical advice, just our experience!**

Summer 2018 Recap

Okay. Back to this blogging thing. Every year... let's be real... every month I tell myself, "This is when you'll start to be consistent with writing." But, you know what? The only thing I am consistent at is keeping a list of "blog ideas" in a note on my iphone. I know, #smh.

However, I am here. Although I have a TON of blog ideas, I still don't really even know where to begin. I think I'll do a little catching up of our summer, since it is technically "back to school" and I know as well as the next guy that the average reader of these things are nosy little buggers. Give the people what they want!

April-May 2018 - I went from full-time, super swamped, overwhelmed working momma of two, to putting in notice as a last ditch effort to keep my family together.

Of course notice would last two whole months but hey, I got to go down to part time! Oh, cue ALL THE FEELS. It was hard. Letting go of something near and dear to you, having to say goodbye to people you'd grown close to over the past few years, wrestling with lots of emotions and feelings at home and at the office. I had never felt so out of place and forced against my will. But, I knew I had to stick it out and see it through. Even if I  ended up going back to work a month after my last day (that's a clue). I had to save my marriage. I had to save my family. Wow. Talk about truth bombs.

June 2018 - I reached my last day and came home to my babies. Lucky for us, we kicked it off with a trip to Vegas with just my husband and I - talk about much needed. That was the beginning of several adventures for me this summer. Side bar: We had been talking about expanding... our family... and now #VEGASBABY has a new meaning. Yes, baby girl will be here in February!!! Video link for your entertainment...

We went to Dallas for market so I could pick things up with the boutique (www.LucyGrant.com) and ventured over to Tyler for my cousins baby shower. She had twins and I am DYING to meet them! Greg got food poisoning, so that was NOT fun. Oh, and we almost had a blow out on the way home - thank god for 24 hour tire men!

We went to Disney World - phew, lots to say about that. Overall it was an experience that we will not soon forget. We were so appreciative of the gift from my parents (it was a Christmas gift) and the kids had a blast. We will be going back... but not for a bit.

Also, in June, we decided to sell our house! We had been casually looking, because who doesn't love to stalk Realtor.com and dream? But when baby #3 was confirmed - it was game on.

July 2018 - Our house sold within DAYS... DAYS! Talk about awesome but equally stressful. We went through some back and forth on one house, bailed on it, then found the house we ultimately purchased and are absolutely LOVING it.

Remember when I said I went on a few more adventures and that I might go back to work? I had a girls trip to College Station with some friends which was nice but quick - we had JUST moved into our house... and being pregnant on a girls trip just isn't quite the same, you know what I'm saying! Then we took a trip down to Port Aransas and stayed at Port Royal (who else called it Port Royale growing up?!?!) for my birthday - the big 3-1 whoop! You guys, they need help. Stay there. Spend money. That little town is struggling to get back what Hurricane Harvey took from it. Lastly, I started back to work. Different company, same concept, part time hours. It's been great. I haven't been able to put in as much as I would like but I feel human when I am working so that's fabulous!

August 2018 - Another girls trip to San Diego and LA with my bestie!! It was a blast. Already looking forward to the next one! I am so thankful for this time with my friend. More on this. I can't write everything in one post, you guys. We had some set backs with the house... AC repairs, new windows (delayed, twice), broken sewage main (barf!). However, everything is fixed, the poop is back flowing to where it belongs, and our home is nice and cool in this gazillion degree weather we have here in southeast Houston. Lastly, we celebrated 5 years of marriage! Three of the five, I've been pregnant - hoping that trend changes soon haha But more on this marriage stuff later!

Here we are, all caught up! Till next time, my dear hearts.

A letter to new mommas

Dear pregnant/new mom:

I've been thinking about you because I had and still have those same exact feelings of anxiety that you're struggling with before baby arrives. I also struggle with trying to be perfect. In my world, there isn't room for failure. Now that I am a parent, all I seem to do is fail and it's wearing on me.

I don't know if what I am about to say will make a whole lot of sense. I do wish, however, someone had told me these things before now. It's basically a lot of confessing and admitting the downfalls that I have as a person and as a parent.

Lately, the anxiety and the worry about being "good enough" and raising my kids the right way - being kind, with listening ears and obeying hearts - is through the roof. G is at the age where he is testing every possible limit, figuring his own way around his 2 year old world, and learning some hard lessons with lots of tears along the way. On the flip side, he is still the sweetest little kid and I am blessed that he is mine. However, the devil is really at work right now. In church a few Sundays ago, the pastor read a scripture that essentially said demons knew Jesus was the Holy One, Son of God. Satan knows where the links are the weakest in that moment and when to strike.  Praying through fear, praying through weakness has never been easy for me. In my experience, the enemy usually comes at me with a full on assault of my marriage and my self image. Satan knows where God is and he knows when and what to whisper into our desperate ears. He can worm his way into hearts that are desperately trying to overcome fear, desperately wanting to do the right thing, and desperately trying to hold it all together - these are a few of the many examples our world as a parent seem to hang by threads.

I don't say all of that to freak you out. I say it to remind you that God is with you, He is in your marriage, He is a cry out away. And so are your friends and family.

I have a confession: Good parenting is really, really difficult. Keyword here is "good". If it is hard, you're doing something right. I know that sounds crazy and like an oxymoron, but I know it to be true. I can't give you a special formula to get rid of the anxiety or the struggle to be the perfect mom. All I can say is that parenting is an adventure. It is full of the highest highs and some of the lowest lows. It is full of celebration and full of tears. It is the most rewarding job on the planet.

I mainly want you to know that you're not alone. It isn't talked about enough but please remember that there are other moms struggling right along with you and it is okay to reach out and to ask for help. I still don't know how to reach out all the time - to raise the white flag and ask for help. I'm getting there, though. I know that every time I get the courage to confide in someone that I come out feeling not quite as lost or alone. I also know the enemy tries even harder so keep your chin up and your prayers coming! Your spouse will be a major support to you but you'll also find that sometimes you will need a friend or family member to speak truth to you.

The ride is only beginning and I cannot wait for you to see and experience all that God has in store. I'm literally giddy with excitement for you! 

He is still there

These days we are definitely in the 'thick' of things. I have seriously confided in few and opened up to many about the struggle that is parenting a 2 year old and worrying if he is destined to be a little jerk forever. You know what is really disappointing? Very few, maybe 1 person, reassured me that "He is still there". What do I mean, you ask?

Us parents have all seen those days and those moments where your nice, sweet, loving and easy going 2 year old seems to be overtaken by some form of demon child. It is tough, so hard, to parent through those times. You might want to perform an exorcism or call The Nanny (you know, that show) or a child psychiatrist to help "diagnose" them. You might also want to throw them out the window or beat them to a pulp - you know I'm right.

Of all the momma's and daddy's I've talked to, most respond with things like:
- Oh, terrible 2's!
- Yep, welcome to the twonage year
- That's parenting for you
- Toughen up

Ouch.

So, I'm here to encourage you! I want to remind you that your sweet, loving, kindhearted little baby is still in there... somewhere. I want to remind you that this is NORMAL. Yes, you might need to toughen up (I do!). Yes, you might have to accept that your child isn't perfect. However, I promise you will get through this tough time. Your molding and forming a strong, independent little person. One day you will be glad that they learned the word "NO" and that they learned to stand up for themselves. In the mean time, during this really difficult time, remember that your baby is still there. They love you and need you and require guidance and an equal amount of grace.

Just like evil can easily pull our eyes from God, so can being wrapped up in the "bad" of our children. Remember, they are broken and sinners just like us and they need lots of love and lots of teaching.

Oh, and give yourself some grace, too! Hang in there - the days are long but the years are short.

Lessons in Parenting

I know this title is a little misleading - I mean, let's be honest, this isn't the first lesson I've learned and it definitely won't be the last! But, it is pretty significant in comparison.

A few weeks ago (ok, 4) I was put on bed rest. My initial reaction was more like "whoa is me" and less like "whoa, what about my kid?". The timing of my bed rest sentencing, as is the timing of most unfortunate things, was really... untimely (?) and cramped my style, to say the least.

A week in and I soon realized how it wasn't me who was struggling... it was my littlest man. From being bounced between our house and my in-laws house (thank you!), to school being closed, to more bouncing around, to not being able to hold or play {or wrestle} with him, to starting a new classroom at school with new teachers (same friends, luckily). That's a lot for a little 22 month old to handle!

Boy, was he off! I really thought I had lost my sweet bubbas for good. Temper tantrums, yelling, disobedience, crying for no reason...What in the actual F was going on? If you know my kid, you know that is NOT him... even on his worst days.

Some thoughts that crossed my mind - "Am I a bad mom?" "What is his DEAL?!" "Oh.My.Gosh. we've failed" "All is lost" "I refuse to have a terrible two" "Maybe we should call a behavior specialist" "We need THE NANNY" "Is there a babywise book for toddlers?" {there is!} "Is this the two year molars?"

Of course there were a few bouts of tears on my end, too - I am still pregnant and can only handle so much, people!

But then, the Friday of his first week in his new classroom and my second week of bed rest, I woke up early and said a LONG prayer for God to just help me to help my son. I prayed for wisdom and patience and understanding. I gave all of my frustrations to Him so I wouldn't take it out on our kid. I knew I didn't have the strength to get through another day like they had been and I knew I couldn't fix it alone.

You know what happened? Little bubbas woke up happy, normal. I thought, "Okay, thanks God!" and just crossed my fingers that it was the start of something great.

That evening, we made it a point to stay in (when normally we would go out to eat) and I got down on the floor with him and we played. Daddy joined to save me from the wrestle-fest and there was surprisingly no whining, no crying, no meltdown. He ate his dinner and went to bed like his normal, happy self.

There was the light at the end of the tunnel I had been waiting for!

Now, what did we do differently?

We spent time with him. Instead of getting mad or trying to ignore him because he was mad for no reason {to us, at least}, we listened and we helped him work through his frustrations. We worked on "please" and "thank you" and "help" instead of whining and "no" and crying. We showed him GRACE and we had PATIENCE. What a simple solution!! Ever since then it's been manageable and he has come SO SO FAR. He asks instead of whines, he says "please" and "thank you", he laughs and plays without a melt down in between!

If your kid is struggling - there is a reason - spend time with them. Also, know that you don't have all the strength it takes to get through tough times... give it up and give it to God, it works!