Summer 2018 Recap

Okay. Back to this blogging thing. Every year... let's be real... every month I tell myself, "This is when you'll start to be consistent with writing." But, you know what? The only thing I am consistent at is keeping a list of "blog ideas" in a note on my iphone. I know, #smh.

However, I am here. Although I have a TON of blog ideas, I still don't really even know where to begin. I think I'll do a little catching up of our summer, since it is technically "back to school" and I know as well as the next guy that the average reader of these things are nosy little buggers. Give the people what they want!

April-May 2018 - I went from full-time, super swamped, overwhelmed working momma of two, to putting in notice as a last ditch effort to keep my family together.

Of course notice would last two whole months but hey, I got to go down to part time! Oh, cue ALL THE FEELS. It was hard. Letting go of something near and dear to you, having to say goodbye to people you'd grown close to over the past few years, wrestling with lots of emotions and feelings at home and at the office. I had never felt so out of place and forced against my will. But, I knew I had to stick it out and see it through. Even if I  ended up going back to work a month after my last day (that's a clue). I had to save my marriage. I had to save my family. Wow. Talk about truth bombs.

June 2018 - I reached my last day and came home to my babies. Lucky for us, we kicked it off with a trip to Vegas with just my husband and I - talk about much needed. That was the beginning of several adventures for me this summer. Side bar: We had been talking about expanding... our family... and now #VEGASBABY has a new meaning. Yes, baby girl will be here in February!!! Video link for your entertainment...

We went to Dallas for market so I could pick things up with the boutique (www.LucyGrant.com) and ventured over to Tyler for my cousins baby shower. She had twins and I am DYING to meet them! Greg got food poisoning, so that was NOT fun. Oh, and we almost had a blow out on the way home - thank god for 24 hour tire men!

We went to Disney World - phew, lots to say about that. Overall it was an experience that we will not soon forget. We were so appreciative of the gift from my parents (it was a Christmas gift) and the kids had a blast. We will be going back... but not for a bit.

Also, in June, we decided to sell our house! We had been casually looking, because who doesn't love to stalk Realtor.com and dream? But when baby #3 was confirmed - it was game on.

July 2018 - Our house sold within DAYS... DAYS! Talk about awesome but equally stressful. We went through some back and forth on one house, bailed on it, then found the house we ultimately purchased and are absolutely LOVING it.

Remember when I said I went on a few more adventures and that I might go back to work? I had a girls trip to College Station with some friends which was nice but quick - we had JUST moved into our house... and being pregnant on a girls trip just isn't quite the same, you know what I'm saying! Then we took a trip down to Port Aransas and stayed at Port Royal (who else called it Port Royale growing up?!?!) for my birthday - the big 3-1 whoop! You guys, they need help. Stay there. Spend money. That little town is struggling to get back what Hurricane Harvey took from it. Lastly, I started back to work. Different company, same concept, part time hours. It's been great. I haven't been able to put in as much as I would like but I feel human when I am working so that's fabulous!

August 2018 - Another girls trip to San Diego and LA with my bestie!! It was a blast. Already looking forward to the next one! I am so thankful for this time with my friend. More on this. I can't write everything in one post, you guys. We had some set backs with the house... AC repairs, new windows (delayed, twice), broken sewage main (barf!). However, everything is fixed, the poop is back flowing to where it belongs, and our home is nice and cool in this gazillion degree weather we have here in southeast Houston. Lastly, we celebrated 5 years of marriage! Three of the five, I've been pregnant - hoping that trend changes soon haha But more on this marriage stuff later!

Here we are, all caught up! Till next time, my dear hearts.

Extremely long, and incredibly uneventful - kind of

Well, it’s been a while. What’s new?  Nothing really. Life isn’t an amazing race but it isn’t too boring. I am doing things a bit differently and I’ve actually accomplished a resolution or two! Here’s a recap:

1.       I read a book! I know that wasn’t on my “blog version” of resolutions but it’s been on my mind a while. The whole point is that I love movies and I like to read but I don’t get many recommendations. I decided to read the book before seeing the movie since many movies are made from books. “Extremely Loud and Incredible Close” was started January 15^th and finished January 21^st around 5:45pm; just in time for the movie at 8:35. I hadn’t even seen a preview! All in all it was an awesome movie.  The younger crowd at the theater was a bit of a shock.  Not too sure they fully understood.  However, as I write this I realize I am confused. I feel like I misread but surely I didn’t.  That just might be a downfall to reading the book before seeing the movie. Major parts were altered but they both were amazing. I took note of two other ‘book turned movie’ flicks.

2.       Giving second chances – hasn’t been going too well.  May need to revise this one. I am a firm believer in that some people are meant to only be in your life for a time, a season… they serve a purpose and that’s all. Whether or not we know or understand what that reason is, is a whole other story!

3.       Saying “no” to things. I’m finally catching on. Saying “no” doesn’t always mean I am mad or just being a jerk. It simply means I have to do what’s right to protect my heart. Minimizes stress and worry, that’s for sure!

4.       Random thought – I feel lately, due to less blogging (maybe?) that my head fills with thoughts a lot faster. Like I can’t put them into words fast enough.  Some nonsense; some profound.  For example, I had to get this all out right now. The past few weeks I’ve wanted to write about songs, and quotes, and God and now that book. All week I have been wanted to tell how awesome it was and how I related to it. I might revisit number 1.

5.       Traveling – I went to San Angelo! I visited my BFF, K.  We had an awesome time. Even though San Angelo, TX isn’t the most exciting place, it was so great o do a whole lot of nothing. It was really nice to catch up and spend quality time watching the Food Network, HGTV, and Style.  I love my friend.  Being so much at the same point in life with someone is a blessing; knowing someone understands your heart is huge! It’s so great to be there for someone and have them there for you no matter what.  Those are the people, unlike the few in #2, that are ‘lifers’.  I am blessed to have many. So traveling is getting accomplished – just need to plan a big trip soon! But corpus in 2 weeks will be nice – visiting another couple ‘lifers’!

6.       So, I failed one of my resolutions.  Less doctor visits.  Nothing major but I learned my lesson about waiting out any type of pain.  If it hurts or something doesn’t feel right, see a doc! So I did. I am fine. Meds are helpful. However, googling something the day before about issues encountered after an appendectomy totally jinxed me!

So back to the book/movie. Book first.  Book was awesome.  The little boy is incredible. Oskar Schell. Loved him and still think he is real.  If he were, we’d be friends.  I think we are very similar.  In the book, he would ‘invent’ things in his mind – it was his way of dealing with the current situation or how he was feeling. He also did it to take his mind off of things.  He would come up with all these crazy inventions and ideas like pocket extensions, buildings that moved instead of having elevators, incredibly long limos, and everyone having the same heart beat the way women who live together have the same menstrual cycle. He would always have an elaborate idea to answer the question “why” or “how”. In a similar way I use hopes and dreams to deal with things or situations.  Sometimes, and this happens often or more than it should, I can dream up an entire new life.  Maybe that’s why I played with barbies so much and for so long! I dealt/deal with things by way of dream. When things get bad or when I have hope in something or someone – my dreams run away with my reality. This is not always a good thing.

The book had many elements that the movie did not.  However, if it were to contain the exact same content, the movie would be awfully long.  Also, the comedic relief in the book was severely lacking in the movie. The movie gave me ‘heavy boots’. That’s what Oskar would always say in regard to his mood.  He had light or heavy boots. The book was written so well.  To the point.  The love and feeling of the person speaking poured onto the page.  When the child was narrating/speaking, you felt him. Even when it switched to letters written by the grandparents, the words were so heartfelt. The grandma, in the book, would always tell Oskar, “I hope you never think of anyone as much as I think about you” and at first I was confused, but now – I know who I might tell that to one day. My niece, I love that little woman to pieces.

The book was confusing sometimes. But so real. It represented every human emotion so well. I could go on and on about the book.  There were so many thoughts I had at one point.  I loved the ending.  Life is never simple. We all need closure.  Closure is something I think a lot of us struggle with.  It’s a very difficult thing to obtain.  Part of me believes it just happens.  It’s a timing issue.  Some find closure for things way before others.  I also believe the rate in which one finds closure is very situational. 

Few random thoughts before I go

1. I love my job.  Each day is different and exciting and busy.  I am so blessed to be where I am, with the people I am there with.  It’s a great feeling- doing what you love – and knowing it will be like that for many, many years. Very exciting!

2. do you ever think about something and realize that with each thought/inquiry/research attempt, you actually begin to understand less.  What would that be called? Irony? A paradox? A coincidence? Whatever it is, it sucks. It provides an individual with absolutely no closure.

3. All natural, unsweetened cranberry juice sucks

4. I love that I still dream even if those dreams might never come true. Someone has to have hope right? Even if it hurts in the end. For example – me as an amazing bakery chef, a mom, a book critic, a marathon runner, etc.

Have an awesome week. Keep dreaming J we all have a little Oskar Schell in us!

Deductibles, Donations, and Deductions

Money sucks. Doesn’t it? It does. It can be your best friend or your worst enemy, a catch-22 type thing. Sometimes you feel like you will never get out of a hole you might be in but aren’t saying you’re in because you’re ashamed that you might possibly even be in that situation. Working in the field I work in, I’ve learned that even wealthy people make poor financial decisions – the bad part is, the repercussions  they face are greater than us poor or middle-class folk’s might face. Mo’ money, mo’ problems – as the philosophers of the rap world say.  So, today it’s about money.

Money and the holidays, two things that go hand in hand, creating the perfect storm of stress and worry. This year I am doing what I should have done as soon as I was out of my parents’ house. This year financial contributions will be made in the name of my loved ones to charities in lieu of gifts.  Each member of my immediate family will admit that if they want something, they can get in their car, go to the store, and buy it. We are fortunate. We are blessed. No, we aren’t buying Ferrari’s or multiple pairs of Louboutin shoes, or even Tiffany’s jewelry for ourselves. Our needs have been met, that’s all.  

I am actually really proud of myself. I have never been good at saving money or budgeting. But, when forced to do the inevitable, I had to get good at those things – and fast. Ever heard of an insurance deductible? Well, I met mine this year after a lovely appendectomy. I never knew what ‘deductible’ really meant because it was usually always in the thousands-of-dollars range so it was of no concern that I would ever ‘meet it’. Now I am an insurance knowledgebase.  I was forced, around June, to begin budgeting my spending and to create a pay-down plan for my astronomical (to me at least) deductible that I had, unfortunately, met. I am proud to announce that I will actually be able to use the medical deduction on my taxes this year! It’s been tough but well worth it. I haven’t splurged at a mall in months and I am actually going to survive! Through the months of budgeting and making ends meet, I was able to go on several trips and haven’t felt burdened at all.

I think that’s what has inspired my new approach to gift giving this year. Knowing that I am ok without material items has shown me how insignificant ‘stuff’ is at times.

This year is going to be different (except for my niece, she’s a baby, she gets tangible gifts!) This year my priorities will be better organized. This year is going to be a struggle, but finally not financially. This year I am going to try to focus on why we gather for Thanksgiving and the true meaning of Christmas. Instead of joining the mad dashers, and die hard sale finders for “Black Friday” shopping, I will be relaxing at my parents’ house after a fabulous meal the day before, without a stress or worry in the world (maybe, I can dream, can’t I???). This year it’s not about the ‘stuff’ I might be given or receive. This year I will be filled with the fruit of the Spirit.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/78831884/ministry-of-poster-r044-fruit-of-the

 

For the Normal People

I saw this and laughed.

Do you ever feel like the old saying, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger," just doesn't quite fit the bill? I am really trying to love it. Well, I am really trying to at least LIKE it. It being my job. The past week and the few days of this week have been fine. We have been pretty busy. That helps.

I'm normally the one who opens my mouth in meetings and can't seem to "shut up and listen" but shutting up and listening has come very easily these past few months. I usually have a lot of suggestions and honestly, I have some good ideas! However, I just haven't felt like saying much. This place will never change and if it's going to, it will be because of a few people who aren't open to suggestions and who will do it their way. I really hope I am in a holding cell. I really hope and pray for some type of answer as to why I am at this place.

Do you ever feel like that? Like you're in a holding cell? Just waiting around for 'the next big thing'? I feel like that unusually often. Too often. Patience is so incredibly cumbersome to endure. Would you agree? It's not that I want "things", I just want to have a purpose. To know what the heck is going on in my life more than 50% of the time. To know the general direction my life is going in. There are so many unknowns. Too many!

Wasn't someone supposed to warn us of this feeling? I went from wearing 100 different hats and balancing 50 different plates in high school and college, to NOTHING - diddly squat, if you will. Well, the year after college was exciting but in a very bad way, unfortunately. And sure, I can better myself by going BACK to school or studying for an exam that is 100% against me or joining a convent (extreme, I know). I just don't FEEL like those are the things I should be doing right now. However, I don't feel like I should be doing ANYTHING right now which is a really crummy feeling. I just need to go to work and be here. Here. Day in and day out. Here. That's it. Nothing exciting. You can all stop reading now.

Kidding.

But in all seriousness - doesn't reality suck??? No jokes, people. I know my parents and siblings are laughing right now because I tend to be a bit on the dramatic side, but FOR REAL! I want to juggle a plate and wear a few hats. I want to DO something. I don't want to be in this holding cell anymore. Oh dearest patience - how I loathe you - but I know somewhere, in the midst of all this that is boring, I am here for a reason, a season, a purpose, a - who knows what.

I know I am not the only one. I know I am probably going to feel like this at several moments in my life. Or, God could just hop me around from good thing to good thing and then I would never, ever be bored again. In my prayers (dreams).

Things I Miss

Oh nostalgia - you might be the death of me - but I can't help but randomly think of those little, and soemtimes not so little things I miss about the randomness that is LIFE

1. Tuesday afternoons. When I was living in D, working at the most amazing accounting firm (Did I mention I was an accountant? It's not exciting. Therefore there isn't much to say), I got the opportunity to go to a particular client's office every Tuesday afternoon, and sometimes more often. Definitely more often when it got closer to moving day. The sweetest lady EVER worked there as the 'mom' of a company which was predomenantly male populated. She took care of everyone and everything. She still does! She isn't gone even though I am. She loves those guys (and girls) and bends over backwards for them. She was my saving grace while in D. She kept me sane. Kept me happy. Loved me like her own. And made me go to the doctor when I was sick. That's love, people. I know my parents appreciate her as much as I do. I never minded staying late at that client's office. We always had so much to talk about. I could never get enough of her. Maybe one day I will get my Tuesday afternoon back. She is only allowed to retire when I have a kid that she can watch during the day - if I ever am in D again.

2. A little less personal - Nokia phones and snake game. Oh the simplicity! Now there are more angry birds, fruit ninjas, and other gadgets (apps, whatever) than I know what to do with. Also - the blackberry I am using  has seen better days. The trackball fell out! And all the little computer pieces fell apart.  I spent a good chunk of the morning googling "blackberry shortcuts" and you will be pleased to know I will be ok.  However, I can't tell you how excited I am for my iphone 4S that should be arriving aaannnyyyyy day now! The irony of simplicity is we, most of us, want to love it or do love it, but tend to be the most over dramatic about the simplest of things - or maybe it's just me but I am pretty sure its not.

3. Friends. Two of my very best friends live too far. Enough said. I miss them. When you're from Texas, far means still traveling within the state, so yes - several hours of driving is far. If you can fly there, it's far. One of these girls has been in my life for YEARS and YEARS. We always had our own thing. Not quite like any other friendship. I wouldn't say we have grown apart. I definitely would say she is the type of person you can not talk to for a few days/weeks/months and then catch up over coffee and feel like you never missed a beat! She is a rock. An encouragement. A phone call away. The other fantastic person and I can skype all day, work, complain, laugh, and be totally on the same page without seeing each other. She is the person who makes me "LOL" just by reading a text, cry with her sweet Halmark cards (she has a subscription!), and who makes me think outside the box - or at least outside my all-too-often-narrow-mindedness.  Did I mention she has the two most adorable children?!?! Well, she does.

4. Mad minutes. Do you remember these? I'm not THAT old (age complex - will explain later) but these were those worksheets you would be given in math class that you would have 1 minute to complete, hence the cute slogan - "MAD MINUTE". I was actually really good at those at one point **day dreams for a moment**. Now I need a calculator. Isn't that sad??? No, I'm not a moron. I just lost my ability to do quick, simple math. I blame it on the one and only - ten key. Blast you, ten key, with your red and black ink, opposite entry from a regular calculator, and old timey sound when printing the numbers on that cute strip of "tape"! I'm going to get sister to make me some mad minutes. Sister is a first grade teacher. Or I can google them.

5. Family. Duh. Who doesn't miss their family? I am lucky enough to have most of them right here in the great city of San Antonio (and surrounding areas). But I miss my family in Louisiana and Michigan and Dallas and Colorado. Little people grow up too fast. (And why must they all be taller than me?! I'm 5 ft 1 in according to my driver's license! And what the DL says, goes.) Oh well - just another good excuse to travel!

6. Dallas. I know I came back to San Antonio for a reason. I love it here. I love being around Family and Friends. I miss Dallas though. Not going to lie. Glad I have reasons to visit still! I am hard to keep occupied - but DFW does it! There is ALWAYS something to do or place to go or thing to try. And my job. My job that I miss so much is there. I think I miss it most now, during the fall, because of all the festivities going on - Oktoberfest, Taste of (enter city name here), State Fair, etc.

7. Cheerleading and Dance. I can't wait to have a little girl who I hope and pray loves being girly just like me! Yes - lots of dramatics when you go this route but, so much fun at the same time. Lots of leasons learned. Lots of memories made. Lots to look forward to! Z (niece) is well on her way, sister won't admit it though! We were direct opposites growing up.

8. Being little. Not weight wise. Age wise. I miss being little. My dad makes fun of me for liking to watching old family videos because I always cry afterwards. Being a little kid is so much fun. I hope little kids still have fun these days and aren't bogged down by the weights that are this world. Don't parents know little people shouldn't lift weights at such young ages???

9. Gender Roles. I don't think I have ever seen true gender roles, as portrayed in the Bible, lived out in modern day society. I mean, I'm not ignorant, I know 'things change' and I have seen good examples of people living out the Biblically defined rules. I might have to ask my neighbor and long time friend's husband his opinion for a post later on. He majored in Bible stuff at ACU :) (see yesterday's post)

10. Being busy. I like being busy. I miss not being busy. I love being a social butterfly. I miss not always being able to be a social butterfly. I miss not having a full calendar. I miss not getting enough sleep (weird I know). But I love the QT I spend with friends and family. I love Happy Hours, Trivia, Date and Game nights with the neighbors. I have a blog now. I will be busy now!

11. I Love Lucy. Lucille Ball. I never met her. Well, I thought I did at one point - in the first grade I thought I met her at Disney Land in CA. I was soon informed that the person I met was an impersonator, imposter, fake, fraud, etc. I cried. It was sad. I wish I had met her. I think she is fabulous. She was different. Overcame many obstacles as a woman in her day. Oh, and she is hilarious!

12. Maybe more to come.... back to blackberry shortcut memorizing...and working :)

The Hook (Line and Sinker, or is it sink her??)

Dear Readers - or maybe there is only one of you???

To my understanding, after my thorough study and yes, appreciation, for that which is a blog, I have come to find out that they each possess a hook. Much like that of a plot in a movie - of which I am a huge fan. So I have been brainstorming ways to keep the traffic up on this site. Since I am not "blogging" about anything specific, this could be difficult....verrrryyyyy difficult (some of you will get this).

I find it amusing that this has almost become a challenge.  Definitely a hobby. Subconsciously a way to occupy time.  Since my first post I have been creating 'drafts' of 'posts to come' when an idea for a good blurb finds its way into my head. One of these days (here is another blurb idea) I might write about my thought process - let me tell you, even I hardly understand where these things come from. It's like you're at a baseball game and instead of the ball (idea) originating at home plate, being hit to left field, then thrown back to home for the out (or not for a homer), the ball comes FLYING out of the stands and onto right field. The idea (ball) might get picked up, or not, to be carried through to form an actual sentence that I might write or say. Did I lose you? I think I did. Maybe I should leave the ball in right field and drop the topic of 'thought origination'. My point - I have no idea where this stuff comes from.

On the way to work this morning I didn't listen to the radio. It was nice not having a talk show host blabber on about Justin Bieber or reliving the events of this weekend's win for the Texas Rangers (whom I adore). I just drove. Well, and sadly put on my make up at the same time. But nonetheless it was silent. I was more aware. More cautious. More focused. More courteous. I actually let several people in the traffic line ahead of me. Why are we always so busy and in a hurry? Why must we always feel like we are in first place? As of lately I have been anything but in first place.

You should drive with the radio off. It's wonderful.

Maybe this was my hook? Half of your are probably rolling your eyes and thinking "DUH, of course driving with the radio off makes you more aware." And then you will never return to my blog. You're missin' out!

However, after driving without the radio on I feel unusually confident about this week. I might start doing things I've been neglecting, weeding out all the BS that I don't need, working out again finally, and working on positivity. We could all use a little of it. For example - I just asked off a day of work to go on a roadtrip (yes, I said roadtrip) to NEBRASKA - something I have been neglecting. And guess what - they said yes!!!!!! Last time I asked for a day off work from said job I was reprimanded with this snarky comment "Maybe you should stay at work a while" ... really???

Ok - I'm moving on. No more negativity. I am at this place for a reason (place = said job) and I need to just deal with it. It could be a hundred, million times worse....

Please don't take this as a cliché because it really speaks to me....

He DECLARES it, so it must be true. I hope it does something for you today too!

In Faith....