Pinterest win or Pinterest Fail: Nursery #3

Now, not to toot my own horn or anything, but I can usually rock the crap out of some pinterest inspo projects. In all honesty, thank GOD for pinterest because I could never dream this stuff up on my own! However, I've never been so open and honest about my plans for a nursery as I plan on doing below. So I hope I don't totally botch it!

I found this pillow from Khristian Howell and decided, this is it! This is what the  nursery will embody! I mean, it's called 'une femme' for crying out loud (it means ‘a woman’; I got you). Strong deep navy, soft lavenders and blush pinks are the perfect combination of confidence and elegance. Much like her name, Violet Blake. Needless to say, I bought the pillow and it should be here soon then, let the decorating begin!

Violet Blake's nursery already has plenty of furniture - we swapped Grant's and Lucy's cribs, got Grant a big boy bedroom set (reveal coming soon), and gave Lucy's crib to baby Violet. Grant's dresser, bookshelf and toy shelf were all given for the cause, too. Of course, the same rocker that was used for #1 and #2 has found it's way to #3. Reduce, reuse, and recycle, people! Both dressers for Lucy and Grant were part of my family for a long time. I don't think there is HUGE significance but refurbishing them and seeing them in their rooms gives me a sense of joy, comfort and accomplishment!

Here is some more fun inspiration I've gathered for the nursery. Wish me luck and...enjoy!

Follow along here or share with a friend - https://pin.it/ad6g2eweowqxxa

Summer 2018 Recap

Okay. Back to this blogging thing. Every year... let's be real... every month I tell myself, "This is when you'll start to be consistent with writing." But, you know what? The only thing I am consistent at is keeping a list of "blog ideas" in a note on my iphone. I know, #smh.

However, I am here. Although I have a TON of blog ideas, I still don't really even know where to begin. I think I'll do a little catching up of our summer, since it is technically "back to school" and I know as well as the next guy that the average reader of these things are nosy little buggers. Give the people what they want!

April-May 2018 - I went from full-time, super swamped, overwhelmed working momma of two, to putting in notice as a last ditch effort to keep my family together.

Of course notice would last two whole months but hey, I got to go down to part time! Oh, cue ALL THE FEELS. It was hard. Letting go of something near and dear to you, having to say goodbye to people you'd grown close to over the past few years, wrestling with lots of emotions and feelings at home and at the office. I had never felt so out of place and forced against my will. But, I knew I had to stick it out and see it through. Even if I  ended up going back to work a month after my last day (that's a clue). I had to save my marriage. I had to save my family. Wow. Talk about truth bombs.

June 2018 - I reached my last day and came home to my babies. Lucky for us, we kicked it off with a trip to Vegas with just my husband and I - talk about much needed. That was the beginning of several adventures for me this summer. Side bar: We had been talking about expanding... our family... and now #VEGASBABY has a new meaning. Yes, baby girl will be here in February!!! Video link for your entertainment...

We went to Dallas for market so I could pick things up with the boutique (www.LucyGrant.com) and ventured over to Tyler for my cousins baby shower. She had twins and I am DYING to meet them! Greg got food poisoning, so that was NOT fun. Oh, and we almost had a blow out on the way home - thank god for 24 hour tire men!

We went to Disney World - phew, lots to say about that. Overall it was an experience that we will not soon forget. We were so appreciative of the gift from my parents (it was a Christmas gift) and the kids had a blast. We will be going back... but not for a bit.

Also, in June, we decided to sell our house! We had been casually looking, because who doesn't love to stalk Realtor.com and dream? But when baby #3 was confirmed - it was game on.

July 2018 - Our house sold within DAYS... DAYS! Talk about awesome but equally stressful. We went through some back and forth on one house, bailed on it, then found the house we ultimately purchased and are absolutely LOVING it.

Remember when I said I went on a few more adventures and that I might go back to work? I had a girls trip to College Station with some friends which was nice but quick - we had JUST moved into our house... and being pregnant on a girls trip just isn't quite the same, you know what I'm saying! Then we took a trip down to Port Aransas and stayed at Port Royal (who else called it Port Royale growing up?!?!) for my birthday - the big 3-1 whoop! You guys, they need help. Stay there. Spend money. That little town is struggling to get back what Hurricane Harvey took from it. Lastly, I started back to work. Different company, same concept, part time hours. It's been great. I haven't been able to put in as much as I would like but I feel human when I am working so that's fabulous!

August 2018 - Another girls trip to San Diego and LA with my bestie!! It was a blast. Already looking forward to the next one! I am so thankful for this time with my friend. More on this. I can't write everything in one post, you guys. We had some set backs with the house... AC repairs, new windows (delayed, twice), broken sewage main (barf!). However, everything is fixed, the poop is back flowing to where it belongs, and our home is nice and cool in this gazillion degree weather we have here in southeast Houston. Lastly, we celebrated 5 years of marriage! Three of the five, I've been pregnant - hoping that trend changes soon haha But more on this marriage stuff later!

Here we are, all caught up! Till next time, my dear hearts.

A letter to new mommas

Dear pregnant/new mom:

I've been thinking about you because I had and still have those same exact feelings of anxiety that you're struggling with before baby arrives. I also struggle with trying to be perfect. In my world, there isn't room for failure. Now that I am a parent, all I seem to do is fail and it's wearing on me.

I don't know if what I am about to say will make a whole lot of sense. I do wish, however, someone had told me these things before now. It's basically a lot of confessing and admitting the downfalls that I have as a person and as a parent.

Lately, the anxiety and the worry about being "good enough" and raising my kids the right way - being kind, with listening ears and obeying hearts - is through the roof. G is at the age where he is testing every possible limit, figuring his own way around his 2 year old world, and learning some hard lessons with lots of tears along the way. On the flip side, he is still the sweetest little kid and I am blessed that he is mine. However, the devil is really at work right now. In church a few Sundays ago, the pastor read a scripture that essentially said demons knew Jesus was the Holy One, Son of God. Satan knows where the links are the weakest in that moment and when to strike.  Praying through fear, praying through weakness has never been easy for me. In my experience, the enemy usually comes at me with a full on assault of my marriage and my self image. Satan knows where God is and he knows when and what to whisper into our desperate ears. He can worm his way into hearts that are desperately trying to overcome fear, desperately wanting to do the right thing, and desperately trying to hold it all together - these are a few of the many examples our world as a parent seem to hang by threads.

I don't say all of that to freak you out. I say it to remind you that God is with you, He is in your marriage, He is a cry out away. And so are your friends and family.

I have a confession: Good parenting is really, really difficult. Keyword here is "good". If it is hard, you're doing something right. I know that sounds crazy and like an oxymoron, but I know it to be true. I can't give you a special formula to get rid of the anxiety or the struggle to be the perfect mom. All I can say is that parenting is an adventure. It is full of the highest highs and some of the lowest lows. It is full of celebration and full of tears. It is the most rewarding job on the planet.

I mainly want you to know that you're not alone. It isn't talked about enough but please remember that there are other moms struggling right along with you and it is okay to reach out and to ask for help. I still don't know how to reach out all the time - to raise the white flag and ask for help. I'm getting there, though. I know that every time I get the courage to confide in someone that I come out feeling not quite as lost or alone. I also know the enemy tries even harder so keep your chin up and your prayers coming! Your spouse will be a major support to you but you'll also find that sometimes you will need a friend or family member to speak truth to you.

The ride is only beginning and I cannot wait for you to see and experience all that God has in store. I'm literally giddy with excitement for you! 

Loneliness isn't just for those who are alone

Loneliness is not just a word that describes those who are alone in the world.

You could be surrounded by hundreds or thousands of people and still feel lonely. You could be single, without children, away from family and not feel the tiniest bit lonely. Loneliness for an introvert is the opposite of loneliness for an extrovert. Loneliness may be a feeling of longing or the act of removal. It can effect those who have a ton of friends or none at all and visa versa. Loneliness is different for different people.

No matter what it looks like or feels like, loneliness is not something many WANT to be or feel. It is also not something that most people ask for. Why in the heck would you? Loneliness can creep up from scary, dark places. It is on the Devil's side. It can bite you in the behind before you even know it. It can have an adverse effect on your relationships and your livelihood. It can beat you down to a pulp. It can whither you away to dust. Loneliness downright sucks... and it can suck the life right out of you.

If I could develop a product and write an infomercial for a cure to loneliness it would be called, "Community".

"Community" would be described as: a one in a million, tailor made per individual, solution that includes the communication and interaction of one to an infinite number of humans at any given time of day for any given amount of time to help aid in the following:
- Increasing the desire to do life
- Developing higher quality relationships (not increased quantity)
- Practicing accountability
- Learning how to be a better partner
- Understanding what it means to be a good friend
- Bringing you closer to the Lord

Ultimately eliminating loneliness for good!

Side effects would most certainly include - laughing, crying, eating, talking, listening, sharing, enjoying, living, consoling, confiding, benefiting, texting, joking, growing, and so many other wonderful feels that simply are not compatible with loneliness.

Oh wait... community does exist. The hard part is creating it. Take a leap of faith and create community in the new year. Don't fall for the #NewYearNewYou BS.... Face the new year and become a more fabulous version of you along with those you want to form community with. Go to dinner, share in a sport, host people at your house, join a small group or create your own, call or text someone, REACH OUT! I guarantee you, the first person you think of is crying out for community, too.

You won't fail, I promise. God is on your side! Here is to 2016.

The Struggle is Real

I don't know about you but I am the kind of person that needs to constantly keep moving forward - in all things: work, relationships, goals, life in general... but this poses a problem when the one thing I truly desire more than anything is relationships with people.

"Why is that a problem?" you may ask.

Mainly because, and this may come a shock to some as it has to me, but not everyone craves relationship. Come to find out, many are OKAY with moving on from whatever relationship they had with you. Whether is be an ex-boyfriend and the horrible break up that was had, or leaving a job and the coworkers you cared about, losing a friend for one reason or another, or realizing that people are comfortable with their current group of "people" and aren't interested in expanding... it sucks no matter what the circumstance. Maintaining, mending, and fostering relationships is hard work.

I also know there are two sides to every story. Maybe someone did try and then they gave up. That makes my little heart sad. I've had to give up before and giving up is not something I deal well with, even if it is inevitable. Maybe it's a "closure" issue... but it's a nagging feeling and it's very hard for me to accept that something has come to an end.

With the holidays upon us, take the time to reach out to someone, make an effort to make amends, offer support, lend an ear, or simply take the time to say "hello". This can be a very lonely time of year for many people.

Update: currently realizing that 1. I may have been nixed from a book club I was part of and 2. Even reaching out to an old friend re: a topic you used to find great joy in sharing, may not prove to be fruitful. Really praying for understanding... These circumstances, while they may seem small to some, are very hard for me. But this is real life, and even though I know some parts of the "why," I may never fully understand....

Merry Christmas!

Over it.

I've read one too many articles about stay at home moms (SAHMs) versus working outside the home moms. 

It truly is ridiculous some of the things that are thrown around as truth. 

Here's some truth for you... We all work hard, we all are doing the best we can in our situation, we are all making sacrifices every day! 

Do you think you deserve to be held up on a pedestal because you're a mom?? Is that what you thought you signed up for when you got pregnant? Do you feel entitled? 

News flash!!! No one gets a gold star or medal. Your sacrifices are part of the territory- whether you stay home or work outside the home. I learned that real quick. You sacrifice so much for your little(s) and husband... Your family. 

Think of the proverbs 31 woman- look how much she did for her household! She had a servants heart, contributed to her household (whether she had a job or stayed home) in so many ways, was her husband's biggest fan and support system, she was logical and methodical and was the foundation of her household. 

Did you think it was going to be a cake walk? Do you think God gave you more than you deserve? Wrong! You're in the exact place He wants you. 

Being a mom is hard work. Period. End of story. You don't get to breeze by "Go" or collect $200 just because. This isn't monopoly and you probably don't live on Park Place Ave. 

Get with the program... Dig down deep into that servants heart of yours... Pray for clarity and understanding in your situation and know that where you are, is exactly where God wants you. You're not better than anyone else in any situation. You do you, and no one else. 

You're a rockstar momma!! 

We have a 1 year old... Holy!

Time sped up the moment our little was born.

I have no idea how 12 months flew by, but they did.

Some days I didn't know if I would make it through the first year, and other times I felt on top of the world.

My husband and I were challenged in ways we never thought possible - how much we could love another person besides one another, how many times we would say "no", the ways we would deal with each other, and how we chose to parent.

It is important to remember the good and the not so good... here is what I want to remember.

• How alert he was as a newborn
• His "O" face
• The way his head was shaped by the vacuum 
• How beautiful his eyes are 
• The way his hair grew in, like a toupee
• His dancing and wiggling when music comes on
• His first steps in his 10th month
• The way he throws himself, arms wide open, at people
• When he shakes his head after being told "no-no"
• The time he climbed up on the fireplace
• How contently he will sit and listen to a story 
• The moments we share while nursing 
• His blow out diapers and some of the craziness associated 
• Bath time and his love for splashing water everywhere
• The way he says "mom" and "dada"
• How he points at stuff and says "dat" 
• His infectious laugh
• How he throws balls then waves his arm
• When he says "ah da" for "all done" and waves his hands
• How surprisingly easy it was to sleep train him 
• When he got his first two teeth at 3 months old 
• How excited he gets when he is on his little trampoline 

And I'm sure there is so much more. 

The one thing I want to remember, above all else, is the amazing feeling of unconditional love and being able to see it and be reminded of it on a daily basis 

God chose you

My husband likes to send me things throughout the day. Sometimes they are funny vine videos or memes or interesting articles. Then there are those times he sends a video or article that catches me off guard and sends me into full on meltdown mode.

He sent me this video today... Grab a tissue mommas

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uyWADizqtHk&feature=youtu.be

Garth Brooks sings "Mom"

What a sweet song! I hope that's the conversation God had with our sweet boy. I hope he always knows that our love for him is endless. 

Something else to take away... You were chosen for your child. So when you think you've got it all wrong, when you feel like nothing your doing is right, or when you feel like you have no idea what to do next... Remember that God made you a momma to your child(ren)...biological or foster or adopted or unofficial or however you're a "parent", God chose you for that person (little or big, brand new or grown). If you're waiting for God to choose you, keep praying.... He has someone or a few little someones lined up for you! 

PS- He is also our instructor and the bible is our instruction book. Oh and Google.... Google is helpful! 

PSS- I think my husband likes to make me cry! 

Have a love filled weekend! 

Moving right along

Talk about not skipping a beat!! The Walker's don't know what it means to take it easy. Let's examine the facts- we hadn't seen each other in 6 years and in two weeks became official, we defied the odds and got engaged after 6 months, and 6 months later you bet we got married, we closed on our first home within 2 weeks of making an offer, and now we are gearing up to make it our absolute dream home. 

Cannot wait to get all the items in that are on order!!!! Painting will be going on in a few key rooms- kitchen, dining and bedroom. Then the finishing touches!!! I will be posting before and after pics for everyone in about 2-3 weeks! Can't wait. I love our home and I know we are going to love it even more soon! Considering an open house or Super Bowl party!!! 

Stay tuned!!!! I'm even refinishing a piece of furniture! 

Our Big Announcement

We did it! We bought our first home! Man, no one tells you all the emotion that comes with home buying, not to mention all the hoop jumping and high hopes! However, all things happen for a reason and we are blessed and beyond excited to move into this little gem! God is in control and He knew just the house for us. It is perfect and will help us kick off the new year with a new chapter.

"The best thing about our new house... " is the beginning of a sentence that has become pretty common lately. We just love everything about our new home - even the Brady Bunch feel (wood paneling and all)!

However, the absolute best thing about our home is the fact that it is ours. It's a reflection of us, our relationship, our hard work and it's a place we envision holidays, birthdays, and all the chaos in between.

Here are a few pictures, pre move in. Enjoy!

Our new home!

Master bedroom

Smaller of the other two bedrooms

Screened in porch - the mosquitoes can't get me now!

Family room and dining room

Our amazing master bathroom

Kitchen of my dreams

Another kitchen view - puppies' new room is on the other side of the door!

Living room for our family and future mini's