6 Things I Do During Pregnancy...And Need To Do After

So, round 3 of pregnancy and I've been wondering this a lot lately. Probably because I've noticed my own behavior! We read articles and talk to friends and get input on what to do during pregnancy, to ensure a healthy and happy baby and momma. But, my question is, why don't we do this all the time? And not just women but, men too.

Here are a few things I've made mental note of recently that I pay much more attention to during pregnancy than during normal life (I say that because at this point in my life, I feel like I am pregnant more often than I am not!).

1. Establishing a good skin care routine.

Our skin does CRAY CRAY things while pregnant. Some of us break out like mad, some of us get pregnancy mask or melasma and some of us clear up like we haven't even hit puberty yet. Regardless, I notice that I pay much closer attention to my skin while pregnant. This is great, yes, but I need to keep it up after pregnancy too because, Lord knows the skin goes bonkers a few times trying to regulate those pesky hormones. 

2. Watching what goes on and in our body

Point #2 goes hand in hand with the above. I don't use products with retinol while pregnant or super harsh chemicals. I do make sure my skin is hydrated (I use this stuff and it's bomb: Active Hydration Body Cream) because with each pregnancy and while nursing, I feel like these babies literally suck me dry (and stretch marks are the devil but are inevitable sometimes). Also, I am not a naturalist by any means but essential oils are amazing for all life seasons and ages and ailments. I tend to run my diffuser into the garbage and douse kids with EO's while pregnant and I should be doing that all. the. time. 

I've also been watching what I eat. Besides the fact that this pregnancy has been full of cravings, I have been super mindful of what's going in my body. Mainly from a weight gaining standpoint but I need to be more consistent during the "off pregnancy" times. Lots of leafy greans, lean proteins, minimal carbs and dairy. But always ice cream. 

3. Working out and/or staying active

No one tells you how your shoulders will ache from carrying a 7 pound baby for 20 minutes. Or how your back will feel like it's going to spasm into oblivion after they've finally latched to nurse and there's no way in hell you're moving to get that boppy. Or how physically demanding labor and c-section recovery can be. But, you figure it out pretty dern fast. I won't say it's too late, but be careful trying to catch up when trying to get those weighted exercises in. Get clearance from your doctor and even still, take it easy. Working out and staying active before and during pregnancy make the transition to newbornhood/motherhood so much easier. You feel yourself faster and don't fatigue as quickly. Your stamina for those 2am parties will astound you. 

Don't stop there - keep up the activity after baby is born. He or she will need you even more outside of the womb. Your physical ability to keep up with mommy duties is overwhelming mentally, but it doesn't have to be overwhelming physically. 

4. Taking vitamins - and lots of them

Kind of like what I am putting into my body, I need to keep in mind the benefits of vitamins and probiotics! Probiotics are so good for baby (I wrote some notes on reflux and it mentions probiotics as a helpful aid) and mommy's gut health. Also, a prenatal may not be enough for you. Consider your food intake - do you need to supplement iron, calcium, DHA, vitamin D and the B's, or did you not get enough fruits and veggies (because all day sickness is REAL) that a food based vitamin could help? I absolutely love all the gummy vitamins - I take several - one with a probiotic, juice plus gummies to help get all those essential fruits and vegetables in, and a prenatal with DHA - I also take an iron supplement. I do all of this while nursing too but then I eventually leave a few off and end up only taking them here and there - bad girl! 

5. Getting enough sleep

Easier said than done while pregnant, I get this. However, I have made it a priority while pregnant - which is weird for me because I am usually one who can operate on little sleep. If you're not getting enough sleep pregnant or not, maybe evaluate what is really keeping you up - do you need to do meditation/prayer before bed to unwind, do you need a new mattress, do you need to politely ask your husband to go in the other room because he snores or wear some ear plugs? Sleep is so important for everyone. It improves brain function in EVERYONE. We encourage our littles to sleep so they can grow big and strong.

Why don't we take it more seriously when we aren't pregnant?

6. Watching my demeanor and tone of voice with my spouse and kids

Oh man, for the sake of all things holy why must hormones make us lose our ever living minds? I would love to go more than a week without wigging out on someone in my house. It is really, really hard and has gotten progressively worse with each pregnancy. I know better. So I need to be better. Grace is tossed around like pixie dust in my house, thankfully! This is a reminder for myself during and after this baby comes! They don't deserve it and I hate how it makes me feel. Keeping calm, generally keeps everyone calm. Apparently that is a harder lesson to learn than it really should be.

The list may sound obvious but point me to one person who is consistent with ALL of these things, ALL the time, so that I may shake their hand.

Colic Shmolic

Once our daughter was diagnosed with silent reflux, ie. the silent parent killer...kidding... I got to work on ways to try to help her before resorting to meds. We aren't for or against vaccines or meds but, she was SO little and giving a baby strong steroids was really not ideal for us or my conscience. I've written this out for so many friends and family, I thought it was time to just post it!

First things first, if anyone tells you that your baby has colic, as if it's just a thing that happens and there is nothing you can do about it - shame on them and keep looking for answers. Babies cry for a REASON. They wake up in the night screaming for a REASON. It is not normal or acceptable, it is absolutely not your fault, and I highly encourage you to SEEK HELP, RESEARCH, and ASK QUESTIONS.

After visiting with doctors, scouring the internet, meeting with a certified lactation consultant - here is a run down of all I know now and ALL.THE.THINGS we did to help - either that or she outgrew it! Which is kind of fantastic, too. I've also attached links to the products purchased below.

1. I know this sounds obvious but, you'd be surprised (I mean, have you read some of these mom group questions? You know what I'm talking about) - eliminate anything that makes your tummy rumble like foods, drinks or vitamins high in fiber. In fact, if nursing, I would eliminate all of that from the beginning - including all dairy and coffee and coke (any diuretics and caffeinated products).

2. I found, during our research, that babies who aren’t fully developed often have this issue - though a LOT of full term/larger and older babies have it, too. They either don’t have a proper flap (I'm not a doctor so bare with me, the thing attached to their esophagus that can cause hiccups!) so any milk intake can come up and it can burn! Also, their tummy and digestive system may not produce enough cell salt (a natural tums/antacid). You can help both of these and hopefully, eventually, God-willing baby will outgrow it (that’s some good news). Cell salt used and regimen followed is below.

3. When nursing - this was INCREDIBLY helpful to know - your milk sacs are made up of things like grapes. So when you squeeze a grape, juice comes out and then there is the gooey stuff attached to the grape's skin. Well your thick and heavy milk sticks to the “skin” of these sacs - yes, there is some even if you are past the colostrum stage. Your goal should be to release or detach the heavy milk from the milk sac/skin and nurse until your breast is completely, totally empty. I used to nurse equal lengths of time on both sides, mainly because I heard stories where some babies ended up with a preference of side - which, compared to silent reflux, is the least of my worries! I understand the importance of nursing until one side is totally empty and simply offering the second breast if they're still hungry (then start the next feeding on the side you ended with). Allowing baby to get that thick, hind milk ensures the weight of the milk will stay down in baby's tummy better. This is also why reflux seems to "go away", because they start to eat heavier foods eventually. THE TRICK: To help aid in getting the hind/heavy milk to release from the milk sac, if you seem to have trouble, is this - towards the end of a feeding, microwave a sock filled with rice for about 30 seconds or less, hold it on your breast (be careful it's not too hot because it will be touching baby, potentially) to warm your breast, and massage all around as she nurses.

4. Nurse baby at as high of an angle is comfortable for you.

5. Also, don't lay baby down or put them on their tummy for about 20 minutes after feeding - this will help tremendously. When you do lay baby down, try to prop up whatever she is laying on or in, if possible.

6. When we were really at a loss we gave baby colic tablets and mylecon (gas drops) to help ease the tummy.

7.  Make sure their latch is good. Nursing should not hurt but if she is sucking air, that will make it worse - even bottles can allow air into a baby's tummy so watch closely, burp often, and maybe try a few bottles before committing to one brand/style.

8.  Don’t bounce baby - sounds obvious but throwing it out there!

9. I know pacifiers are helpful and pure sanity savers but, if you can stand it, try not to use them. Baby may end up sucking in air and you might not know it.

10. Last but not least, since I was nursing, I got started on a probiotic and (regardless of nursing) we started to give probiotics to baby morning and night. Probiotics help aid in digestion and since that's the root cause of silent reflux, it definitely didn't hurt.

The regimen we had:
Before nursing or bottle feeding:  We gave 1 cell salt and 1 colic tablet. After feeding we gave 1 of each again and some mylecon drops. We also gave her jaro drops, an infant probiotic recommended by our doctor, morning and night. Doing these things consistently was a LIFE SAVER!! It was at the peak of her reflux, around 6-9 weeks. Then she either outgrew it or the stuff worked well!!

We did end up putting our daughter on Zantac for a few weeks for sanity sake. It did help but we gave it sparingly - only at night and not consistently.

Products purchased/used:

Hyland's - Natrum Phos. 6x, 500 tablets https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0014ARBN4/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_9qYFBb61ZG6T7

Hyland's Homeopathic Baby Colic Tablets, 125 Count https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IYB6RX0/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_TrYFBbVTWSN1J

Mylicon Infant Drops Anti-Gas Relief Dye Free formula, 1.0 Fluid Ounce https://www.amazon.com/dp/B011EVPAHG/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_gtYFBbMSCWAVW

Jarrow Formulas Baby's Jarro-Dophilus Drops, 1 Billion Cells Per 6 Drops, Supports Intestinal & Immune Health, 8 ml  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N51XLUX/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U__VOU.Bb1GAR5CW

I hope these tips help for your sweet baby. If you are nursing, paying for the attention and help of a certified LC is HIGHLY recommended. Also, remember, the diet changes are temporary and hopefully this is, too.

**This is not actual, legal, medical advice, just our experience!**

He is still there

These days we are definitely in the 'thick' of things. I have seriously confided in few and opened up to many about the struggle that is parenting a 2 year old and worrying if he is destined to be a little jerk forever. You know what is really disappointing? Very few, maybe 1 person, reassured me that "He is still there". What do I mean, you ask?

Us parents have all seen those days and those moments where your nice, sweet, loving and easy going 2 year old seems to be overtaken by some form of demon child. It is tough, so hard, to parent through those times. You might want to perform an exorcism or call The Nanny (you know, that show) or a child psychiatrist to help "diagnose" them. You might also want to throw them out the window or beat them to a pulp - you know I'm right.

Of all the momma's and daddy's I've talked to, most respond with things like:
- Oh, terrible 2's!
- Yep, welcome to the twonage year
- That's parenting for you
- Toughen up

Ouch.

So, I'm here to encourage you! I want to remind you that your sweet, loving, kindhearted little baby is still in there... somewhere. I want to remind you that this is NORMAL. Yes, you might need to toughen up (I do!). Yes, you might have to accept that your child isn't perfect. However, I promise you will get through this tough time. Your molding and forming a strong, independent little person. One day you will be glad that they learned the word "NO" and that they learned to stand up for themselves. In the mean time, during this really difficult time, remember that your baby is still there. They love you and need you and require guidance and an equal amount of grace.

Just like evil can easily pull our eyes from God, so can being wrapped up in the "bad" of our children. Remember, they are broken and sinners just like us and they need lots of love and lots of teaching.

Oh, and give yourself some grace, too! Hang in there - the days are long but the years are short.

Lessons in Parenting

I know this title is a little misleading - I mean, let's be honest, this isn't the first lesson I've learned and it definitely won't be the last! But, it is pretty significant in comparison.

A few weeks ago (ok, 4) I was put on bed rest. My initial reaction was more like "whoa is me" and less like "whoa, what about my kid?". The timing of my bed rest sentencing, as is the timing of most unfortunate things, was really... untimely (?) and cramped my style, to say the least.

A week in and I soon realized how it wasn't me who was struggling... it was my littlest man. From being bounced between our house and my in-laws house (thank you!), to school being closed, to more bouncing around, to not being able to hold or play {or wrestle} with him, to starting a new classroom at school with new teachers (same friends, luckily). That's a lot for a little 22 month old to handle!

Boy, was he off! I really thought I had lost my sweet bubbas for good. Temper tantrums, yelling, disobedience, crying for no reason...What in the actual F was going on? If you know my kid, you know that is NOT him... even on his worst days.

Some thoughts that crossed my mind - "Am I a bad mom?" "What is his DEAL?!" "Oh.My.Gosh. we've failed" "All is lost" "I refuse to have a terrible two" "Maybe we should call a behavior specialist" "We need THE NANNY" "Is there a babywise book for toddlers?" {there is!} "Is this the two year molars?"

Of course there were a few bouts of tears on my end, too - I am still pregnant and can only handle so much, people!

But then, the Friday of his first week in his new classroom and my second week of bed rest, I woke up early and said a LONG prayer for God to just help me to help my son. I prayed for wisdom and patience and understanding. I gave all of my frustrations to Him so I wouldn't take it out on our kid. I knew I didn't have the strength to get through another day like they had been and I knew I couldn't fix it alone.

You know what happened? Little bubbas woke up happy, normal. I thought, "Okay, thanks God!" and just crossed my fingers that it was the start of something great.

That evening, we made it a point to stay in (when normally we would go out to eat) and I got down on the floor with him and we played. Daddy joined to save me from the wrestle-fest and there was surprisingly no whining, no crying, no meltdown. He ate his dinner and went to bed like his normal, happy self.

There was the light at the end of the tunnel I had been waiting for!

Now, what did we do differently?

We spent time with him. Instead of getting mad or trying to ignore him because he was mad for no reason {to us, at least}, we listened and we helped him work through his frustrations. We worked on "please" and "thank you" and "help" instead of whining and "no" and crying. We showed him GRACE and we had PATIENCE. What a simple solution!! Ever since then it's been manageable and he has come SO SO FAR. He asks instead of whines, he says "please" and "thank you", he laughs and plays without a melt down in between!

If your kid is struggling - there is a reason - spend time with them. Also, know that you don't have all the strength it takes to get through tough times... give it up and give it to God, it works!

Over it.

I've read one too many articles about stay at home moms (SAHMs) versus working outside the home moms. 

It truly is ridiculous some of the things that are thrown around as truth. 

Here's some truth for you... We all work hard, we all are doing the best we can in our situation, we are all making sacrifices every day! 

Do you think you deserve to be held up on a pedestal because you're a mom?? Is that what you thought you signed up for when you got pregnant? Do you feel entitled? 

News flash!!! No one gets a gold star or medal. Your sacrifices are part of the territory- whether you stay home or work outside the home. I learned that real quick. You sacrifice so much for your little(s) and husband... Your family. 

Think of the proverbs 31 woman- look how much she did for her household! She had a servants heart, contributed to her household (whether she had a job or stayed home) in so many ways, was her husband's biggest fan and support system, she was logical and methodical and was the foundation of her household. 

Did you think it was going to be a cake walk? Do you think God gave you more than you deserve? Wrong! You're in the exact place He wants you. 

Being a mom is hard work. Period. End of story. You don't get to breeze by "Go" or collect $200 just because. This isn't monopoly and you probably don't live on Park Place Ave. 

Get with the program... Dig down deep into that servants heart of yours... Pray for clarity and understanding in your situation and know that where you are, is exactly where God wants you. You're not better than anyone else in any situation. You do you, and no one else. 

You're a rockstar momma!! 

We have a 1 year old... Holy!

Time sped up the moment our little was born.

I have no idea how 12 months flew by, but they did.

Some days I didn't know if I would make it through the first year, and other times I felt on top of the world.

My husband and I were challenged in ways we never thought possible - how much we could love another person besides one another, how many times we would say "no", the ways we would deal with each other, and how we chose to parent.

It is important to remember the good and the not so good... here is what I want to remember.

• How alert he was as a newborn
• His "O" face
• The way his head was shaped by the vacuum 
• How beautiful his eyes are 
• The way his hair grew in, like a toupee
• His dancing and wiggling when music comes on
• His first steps in his 10th month
• The way he throws himself, arms wide open, at people
• When he shakes his head after being told "no-no"
• The time he climbed up on the fireplace
• How contently he will sit and listen to a story 
• The moments we share while nursing 
• His blow out diapers and some of the craziness associated 
• Bath time and his love for splashing water everywhere
• The way he says "mom" and "dada"
• How he points at stuff and says "dat" 
• His infectious laugh
• How he throws balls then waves his arm
• When he says "ah da" for "all done" and waves his hands
• How surprisingly easy it was to sleep train him 
• When he got his first two teeth at 3 months old 
• How excited he gets when he is on his little trampoline 

And I'm sure there is so much more. 

The one thing I want to remember, above all else, is the amazing feeling of unconditional love and being able to see it and be reminded of it on a daily basis 

The Newbie's

It's already been a month since my last post. I know exactly why it's taken so long...So many times I catch myself wanting to blog about our parenting adventures or about our life but something keeps holding me back. 

TBH- I really feel like there would be a wave of criticism because we aren't seasoned parents. Like we haven't been through it long enough... We don't have any "street cred" and are still "newbies". But in all actuality, intuition is an awesome thing. It still amazes me the things we have accomplished just by relying on each other and a few trusted sources. Our little is thriving and growing and he is happy and active. We are doing something right and so often I want to share in our successes!!  

I guess the real reason I hold back on parenting advice is the same reason I hold back on relationship advice. Like love stories, all babies are different and everyone will have a different experience raising their baby. My only advice for new parents is- You've never been a parent and your child has never been a baby so it will take a combined effort and understanding to make it through each day. 

(PS- no new mom wants to hear "sleep now because you never will again!" Or any of the other typical one liners about becoming a parent)

I've found that offering encouragement is often much better and more helpful than trying to be a know it all or a Debbie downer. Let's face it, I definitely don't know it all. And whenever you feel like a Debbie downer, remind yourself that every day is a new day. Every day is a learning opportunity. Every day I get the chance to watch our son develop and grow and learn. It's pretty exciting times in the W household.

And then comes the daily reminder to myself... To be patient in all things. With my husband when he does something different than I would have. With my son when he isn't behaving the way I want him to. With myself because I can't be perfect and I shouldn't even try to be. It is stressful enough being a new parent, don't exacerbate the reality! Enjoy every moment because you may never get an opportunity quite like it!