6 Things I Do During Pregnancy...And Need To Do After

So, round 3 of pregnancy and I've been wondering this a lot lately. Probably because I've noticed my own behavior! We read articles and talk to friends and get input on what to do during pregnancy, to ensure a healthy and happy baby and momma. But, my question is, why don't we do this all the time? And not just women but, men too.

Here are a few things I've made mental note of recently that I pay much more attention to during pregnancy than during normal life (I say that because at this point in my life, I feel like I am pregnant more often than I am not!).

1. Establishing a good skin care routine.

Our skin does CRAY CRAY things while pregnant. Some of us break out like mad, some of us get pregnancy mask or melasma and some of us clear up like we haven't even hit puberty yet. Regardless, I notice that I pay much closer attention to my skin while pregnant. This is great, yes, but I need to keep it up after pregnancy too because, Lord knows the skin goes bonkers a few times trying to regulate those pesky hormones. 

2. Watching what goes on and in our body

Point #2 goes hand in hand with the above. I don't use products with retinol while pregnant or super harsh chemicals. I do make sure my skin is hydrated (I use this stuff and it's bomb: Active Hydration Body Cream) because with each pregnancy and while nursing, I feel like these babies literally suck me dry (and stretch marks are the devil but are inevitable sometimes). Also, I am not a naturalist by any means but essential oils are amazing for all life seasons and ages and ailments. I tend to run my diffuser into the garbage and douse kids with EO's while pregnant and I should be doing that all. the. time. 

I've also been watching what I eat. Besides the fact that this pregnancy has been full of cravings, I have been super mindful of what's going in my body. Mainly from a weight gaining standpoint but I need to be more consistent during the "off pregnancy" times. Lots of leafy greans, lean proteins, minimal carbs and dairy. But always ice cream. 

3. Working out and/or staying active

No one tells you how your shoulders will ache from carrying a 7 pound baby for 20 minutes. Or how your back will feel like it's going to spasm into oblivion after they've finally latched to nurse and there's no way in hell you're moving to get that boppy. Or how physically demanding labor and c-section recovery can be. But, you figure it out pretty dern fast. I won't say it's too late, but be careful trying to catch up when trying to get those weighted exercises in. Get clearance from your doctor and even still, take it easy. Working out and staying active before and during pregnancy make the transition to newbornhood/motherhood so much easier. You feel yourself faster and don't fatigue as quickly. Your stamina for those 2am parties will astound you. 

Don't stop there - keep up the activity after baby is born. He or she will need you even more outside of the womb. Your physical ability to keep up with mommy duties is overwhelming mentally, but it doesn't have to be overwhelming physically. 

4. Taking vitamins - and lots of them

Kind of like what I am putting into my body, I need to keep in mind the benefits of vitamins and probiotics! Probiotics are so good for baby (I wrote some notes on reflux and it mentions probiotics as a helpful aid) and mommy's gut health. Also, a prenatal may not be enough for you. Consider your food intake - do you need to supplement iron, calcium, DHA, vitamin D and the B's, or did you not get enough fruits and veggies (because all day sickness is REAL) that a food based vitamin could help? I absolutely love all the gummy vitamins - I take several - one with a probiotic, juice plus gummies to help get all those essential fruits and vegetables in, and a prenatal with DHA - I also take an iron supplement. I do all of this while nursing too but then I eventually leave a few off and end up only taking them here and there - bad girl! 

5. Getting enough sleep

Easier said than done while pregnant, I get this. However, I have made it a priority while pregnant - which is weird for me because I am usually one who can operate on little sleep. If you're not getting enough sleep pregnant or not, maybe evaluate what is really keeping you up - do you need to do meditation/prayer before bed to unwind, do you need a new mattress, do you need to politely ask your husband to go in the other room because he snores or wear some ear plugs? Sleep is so important for everyone. It improves brain function in EVERYONE. We encourage our littles to sleep so they can grow big and strong.

Why don't we take it more seriously when we aren't pregnant?

6. Watching my demeanor and tone of voice with my spouse and kids

Oh man, for the sake of all things holy why must hormones make us lose our ever living minds? I would love to go more than a week without wigging out on someone in my house. It is really, really hard and has gotten progressively worse with each pregnancy. I know better. So I need to be better. Grace is tossed around like pixie dust in my house, thankfully! This is a reminder for myself during and after this baby comes! They don't deserve it and I hate how it makes me feel. Keeping calm, generally keeps everyone calm. Apparently that is a harder lesson to learn than it really should be.

The list may sound obvious but point me to one person who is consistent with ALL of these things, ALL the time, so that I may shake their hand.

Adult Nightmares

Aren't nightmares the worst? You would think an adult would be able to shake it off and get right back to sleep right? Wrong.

I know why I'm still awake at 3:30am... And surprisingly it's not my husband's snoring... It's because this wasn't just a scary dream type nightmare, it was a blast from the past that brought back all sorts of awful feelings and lots of emotion. 

Because of this nightmare, I'm wide awake, reliving the day a person I cared for very deeply drove off in a U haul after being in an on-again, off-again relationship. "That's not so bad," you might be thinking but this person left me heartbroken. I woke up and immediately felt those same feelings. I am sad that I allowed that to happen to myself, knowing full well that the relationship was going no where. I feel angry at this person, again. I feel like I need to reach out to all the young girls in the world and tell them to be strong, bold, and smart.

Sure, I was warned, but how awful that something from so long ago still effects me. 

It has prompted me to send my son an email to an account we set up for him (during normal daytime hours). I plan to explain the whole situation and explain how and why I was hurt so badly.. I don't plan on ragging on this person and don't mean to now. I just want my son to understand how wrong it was for this person to let things go as long as they did, as intimately as they did, all the while he knew he wasn't going to stay or even ask me to go with him when he decided to relocate. Hopefully he can glean something from the story... like how making decisions to be with someone or not and how a particular decision, that can potentially have a lasting effect on someone, is not to be taken lightly.  

It's not the person I am missing, it's not even about missing anyone or about this person at all. It's simple - guys- don't lead girls on. It's not nice. It hurts a lot. And it effects them for years to come (sadly). And that really sucks. People are fragile. They bruise easily, even if they tell you otherwise. 

I asked this person to never contact me again if they decided to drive off that day. He drove off. We communicated via linked in once... and his attitude was that of someone who didn't realize the weight of what they had done. Since then I haven't even thought about him, but the hurt is still there. But why is it so painful? It's just the principal of it all. No one deserves to be treated that way. I should have been stronger and wiser at this point in my life, but I wasn't.

My only wish now is hopefully someone benefits from this post somehow. 

It's okay to walk away from something knowing it won't workout. It's so hard. So so hard. But God totally has a million other things waiting for you that are ten times better than anything you can imagine. If even the slightest thing feels wrong, please move on. Don't force anything because you have your whole life to work at a marriage with someone who is deserving of your time, attention, efforts and love. Plus, if you do move on before getting hurt, you won't be where I am years later, wide awake at 3:45am reminiscing about all the ways you saw it coming and all the heartbreak that came with wanting something that wasn't worth it. However, I am also counting my blessings and realizing for the billionth time how eternally grateful  I am for the man I get to call my husband and father to my son. He is a wonderful example of a man. 

And goodness if this isn't the truth... 

Cracking the Baby Code: Lesson 1

I was texting a good friend, also a first time mom, and I had an "Ah-ha!" moment...

G and I couldn't figure out what the deal was with Baby G. One night he was really fussy, it didn't last long (seemed like hours but was really only 10 minutes) and the next night was ok. But then it happened again the third night and the crying lasted a little longer and again the fourth and, well, you get the picture... What had happened to our perfect little sleeper baby?!? 

We tried everything we could and came up with every reason possible to justifiy this uncharacteristic behavior. I just knew I had him figured out already so there must be a reason for the fussiness. Right?!?! 

It happened around the same time each night. The crying wasn't inconsolable but it was exhausting for all three of us. It wasn't colic, it wasn't reflux, it wasn't hunger... After a few nights of guessing and trying different things, I reached out to a few people... I was at a loss. 

Then the "ah-ha!" moment came. 

There isn't a formula for babies. There isn't a "this" plus or minus "this" equals "no more crying" or "happy baby"... Sometimes they just cry. Sometimes they are overstimulated. (And did you know that overstimulation can be just having the tv on, being held too much or looking out the window too long... Who knew?!?!) And sometimes they are tired. Turns out there is something called the "witching hour" and that's precisely what's been going on. 

As alert as our little bundle of goodness may be, he still requires lots of sleep. Allowing him to be awake is all fine and dandy until the "witching hour" when it all comes crashing down in a big, crying, red faced, back arching mess. Thankfully it isn't colic and he still sleeps through the night (except to eat) but man is the "witching hour" rough. 

Today he has taken his appropriate naps and has gone back to the little sleepyheaded newborn we are used to! Until about 3 months, I think we will be doing all we can to keep him this way. Makes for a much happier baby, momma and daddy. 

But in the mean time, and even after the 3 month mark, I have to keep reminding myself that there isn't a formula and that babies have moods just like adults. Maybe I should have renamed this- there isn't a code to be cracked...There are going to be days where I have no idea what the heck is going on and others where it seems like I'm doing everything right. And as much as I love looking at our son's big beautiful eyes, those peepers need to be shut more often than not. Sleep is fuel for baby's healthy growth and the key ingredient to mommy's sanity. 

One day at a time!