I’ve wanted to write something like this for so many YEARS but never had the courage. I was once a 20- something with goals of being the CEO, helping to grow teams of people and an organization that was “going places”. Maybe it’s because I’m 31 now, clearly not a 20-Something. Maybe it’s because my life looks SO different than what I imagined and I’m loving this season and definitely believe God knows what He is doing. Maybe it’s because I don’t work at the place where a lot of these thoughts stem from. I have hesitated because I didn’t want to come off as disgruntled, though there is surely room for that, or immature, because that’s the exact image I’m fighting against.
I have worked (paid, unpaid, along side friends and family, as a volunteer, etc) with so many different types of people. Amazing people, despite differences. Younger people. Older people. People from all cultures, backgrounds, and walks of life.
You have too, I’m sure!
I have to say though, the people I enjoy being around and working with most are those who genuinely value me, my opinions and ideas, and who know my worth even more than I do. Not just bosses or leaders that I’ve come to admire and respect, but certain peers as well.
This isn’t to make myself feel better. No, this is for all those “other” people. Those people who look at the age of a person, their seemingly “limited” experience, even the way someone looks, and let’s not forget the gender factor. I’ve caught myself, one way or another, apologizing for my age, for my lack of experience in whatever the person was looking for, for the fact that I look even younger than my actual 20-Something age, and even for the fact that ... yep, I’m a woman.
Crazy, right? I agree.
What’s even more absurd is the fact that I’ve ever, EVER even felt the need to feel apologetic about those things. There were so many good ideas missed and passed over because of those few things mentioned above. So for the “others” here is some advice, culminating from YEARS of being passed over:
First and foremost, don’t EVER pass someone over based on their age, looks, gender, or past experience. Organizations are not “good ole boy” clubs. If you’re younger, remember who gave you a shot and keep in mind that they’re the reason you’re even in the position you’re in. If millinnials annoy you because they seem to only complain, maybe you’re just not listening or maybe you’re not helping them understand. If your allegiance is to a group of people who don’t embrace change, are afraid of and intimidated by younger people with less experience, and/or who don’t have a growth mindset and you’re too feeble to invite others in to that group, you’re going to struggle. If your job is to generate growth then you better learn to embrace trials, errors, ideas, opinions and change. Your greatest asset will be listening to your team and empowering individuals - from the receptionist to the CEO - so learn how to do that, quickly.
If you see a spark in someone, cultivate it! Don’t put it out because they intimidate you and because you have the power to do so. Embrace and mentor them. Guide them. Love them.
All this to say, you will suffer, whatever it is you’re working towards will suffer and so will the person you’re scrutinizing, if you don’t get some awareness, stat. It will take that person a lot of rejection and heartbreak to learn that, it wasn’t them. Unfortunately for the firecracker that got away, you and others like you, or the entire organization just weren’t ready for them, yet.
I have a new perspective now. I sit behind a desk for less than a few hours a day, and when I’m there, my view is that of a playroom of toys scattered around. What I am certain of, though, is that my experience has only made me better, wiser, some may say more intimidating, but I’ll be damned if I’m not more proud of myself than ever. I am surrounded by people who seek me, my experience, advice and/or opinions and my tenacity.
I’m so thankful for my spark.
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