Life as a Newlywed

I told myself, "After the wedding, when things have calmed down, write more in your blog," but that hasn't happened. We have been married for 3.5 weeks - a lifetime for newlyweds (or maybe just us??) - either way it isn't a bad thing. Let's recap, shall we? 

Our wedding was a dream come true. Everything I envisioned during the planning process became a reality. The chairs were full of people (YAY! Most everyone showed up!). The bridesmaids and groomsmen were all where they were supposed to be. The music was cued exactly as I had asked. The food was warm and tasty. The flowers were spray painted the perfect shade of purple. The place settings, lighting and table decor was personal and impeccable. The cakes were huge, over the top, and to die for - just as I hoped! I can't wait to share pictures!

Most all of this was thanks to my detailed and step by step instruction manual everyone received as well as a HUGE thank you to a very good friend of mine who kept everyone and everything on track.... Except one major issue that no one would have EVER anticipated. 

The day of our wedding, G went to lunch with his groomsmen and family, only to find out after 15 minutes of being there - G had his tux, my wedding band, his work bag and my gift to him stolen! I remember overhearing they were leaving the restaurant and thinking, "Awesome job! They are ahead of schedule!" However, when my sister brought me to the other room to tell me what had happened (I honestly thought someone had been hurt or something terrible), I had to sit down before I fainted! My killer "put out fire" mode kicked in and everything was taken care of - thanks to my brother in law and good friend (who I mentioned previously). G's tux was replaced, my ring was repurchased, and we will be able to replace the watch I bought him and photobook I made him. The most hurtful thing that is irreplaceable was a journal I had been keeping for the 8 months leading up to our wedding. It had memories, and thoughts, and words of advice, and notes of encouragement and love written in it. Of course I found out that had been stolen right before pictures so I had to suck it up as best as possible. It's still very sad to me.... 

After all the chaos and running around, a mere 4 hours before the ceremony, the biggest and best reality of all was I married my true prince and knight in shining armor! And thank God nothing else went awry!

Thanks to my trusty insurance agent and second Dad everything will be taken care of and one day it will be a good story - right now we are still a little bitter and hurt! 

After The Wedding came the honeymoon - it was beautiful and perfect and exactly what we needed. St Lucia is an amazing place to visit and if you stay at a Sandals resort, it's true, get a butler! We ate and drank well, saw some of the most picturesque scenery, went snorkeling and sailing, relaxed and lounged, and simply enjoyed calling each other Mr & Mrs and Husband & Wife. We definitely weren't the only newlyweds but it was an incredibly special vacation and one we will remember always. 

Now we have been back to "real life" for about 2 weeks, and it's been tough. Waking up early, fighting traffic, organizing our house, decorating our house, returning gifts, writing thank you notes - it simply never ends. But It is all worth it because, again, I am married! And not only married, but I am married to my best friend - the person who puts up with all my crap and all my messes but loves me more than anyone ever has or will - and for that I am beyond blessed and thankful. We are learning how to be husband and wife, taking it one day at a time, and enjoying just being together.

It's hump day - you're on the downhill - make it an awesome remainder of the week! 

Lessons learned

I've had quite a few jobs in my day - too many - however, I have learned some valuable lessons at each and I continue to learn even now.

 

Learning keeps us young and I plan to stay young for quite some time, thank you!

Job #1 - I learned the value of my position and appreciation from fellow employees only came with tenure. I should have held onto that because since job #1 I have had 6 others since college.

Job #2 - I didn't quite understand doing what you loved was important but I realized that this particular job was not quite what I loved, but I stuck it out for two years anyway. I learned a lot about people at this job - it was the first job where someone openly didn't like me, for no reason. It wasn't until a few jobs later that I understood how unimportant 100% acceptance was.

 

Job #3 - I thought this was the job for me. I loved it. But then I learned the hard way that being a workaholic wasn't very cool. It was a hard fact to face when I still didn't quite understand the difference between being a workaholic and being a hard worker. I got burnt out, landed in a hospital bed, and then shipped by butt back home.

 

Job #4 - I learned that everyone wants to make a buck and sometimes you land in a terrible position because someone made money off of you.

Job #5 - I learned that interviewing your potential employer is just as important as them interviewing you. However, knowing how to sell myself means there are other people who know how to sell themselves. It's a double edge sword - especially when you're faced with an "I CAN'T WIN" scenario - day in and day out.

 

Job #6 - I finally started to get it! I finally started to learn from my past mistakes in job searching and selection. It took four months to find this job, and even in all my desperation, I took this job because I felt it was the right fit for me. Surprisingly, this is where I learned the most about myself, what is important to me, and about being a true business woman. This is where I learned that there is NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING you can do to make certain people like you, let alone tolerate your existence. I still have to protect myself and I don't even work there anymore. I realized that there are people in this world who are truly missing out on what life has to offer because they are so concerned with comparing what they have, or don't have, to some outrageous and unjustifiable standard. I also realized that the "mean girls" in high school, also existed in the real world, and there again, is no explanation for it.

 

As much as I loved and enjoyed the work I was doing, I accepted the fact that I could not do it all, I could not wear 500 hats, and I could not balance 100 plates. End of story. I learned what a Queen Bee was and that I was a victim. Also, that any male boss is likely to be oblivious to the workings of a Queen Bee. Which really sucks. But then I decided that could be another learning point. I learned how to be tough, be a business woman, and let it "roll off like Teflon" as a friend has been telling my since college, and that there is always tomorrow. I learned to control my emotions and the difference between hard work and workaholic (finally!). I learned to do what I could, to do what I knew was right and that God would protect me from any evil doers. I noticed that praying throughout the day, asking God for protection and wisdom, were the ropes that pulled me through each day. And then I moved to be with G.

Job #7 - I don't love this job. I don't hate this job. I am good here. I have a work/life balance. I make a good living. I have Christian coworkers and an understanding boss. I have finally realized that I need to just sit and wait on God. I might be here 6 months or 6 years. There is room for advancement but I won't kill myself getting there. I haven't encountered any Queen Bees and I get to eat good food all week - it is a restaurant group after all.

 

I am in the process of fully understanding what it means to live life to the fullest. I am a dreamer and a planner and an inventor of all things outlandish. My mind never stops thinking about, "what next". What I want for my life one day might change 100 times (thankfully, G is a patient man!). To really take advantage of each day might mean one thing to me, and mean something totally different to next guy. To me it means, spending quality time with G, making time for the fun things (like shopping) and working in the not so fun chores of life (like cleaning), taking each opportunity to see family and friends, to leave work on time, to plan and talk about exciting events in your life (like a wedding, honeymoon, and eventually a new home and babies), to go on dates and eat fancy meals, to get out of town, to dream, and to just be me.

 

Don't let your life pass you by...you only get one of them. It saddens me when people say "I can't do this or that". You're the only person stopping you. You can take a vacation. You can go to lunch with your best girlfriends. You can fall in love all over with your spouse. You can make someone's day. You can sell your stuff and become a gypsy! Take what you learn every day and apply it to the next. Don't stop dreaming and believing that the world is your oyster, because it is, even if all you want to do is sit on the couch and watch TV. There are lots of lessons to learn in life that will shape you into who you are and can help get you to who and where you want to be. Keep living. Keep dreaming. You're allowed.

Tickets, get your tickets!

Dad has been on blood thinner all weekend to relieve the blood clot found on his lung on Friday afternoon. I tell you, God's obviously here and at work. Tomorrow and Tuesday will consist of heart and colon testing - fun! As exhausting as all of this definitely is, Dad is pushing forward. Slightly disgruntled by the minor speed bump - if blood thinner is what it takes, then blood thinner it is - some are on blood thinner their whole life. Maybe he has difficult blood - wouldn't surprise me - runs in the family, I dare say. Anyway, these are all steps closer to getting on "the list". Once these tests are complete, we are hopeful he will be presented to the surgeons and moved to the front of the line.

But onward we go.... and toward what he faces, we don't know but it's the straight and narrow kind, if you know what I mean.

So as hopeful as we are for Dad and his eventual life saving surgery, it's a hard fact that we have to face- the cost of surgery - even with insurance it is incredibly expensive. I don't think my mom, sister and I have ever wanted for anything. Surely there were things my sister and I weren't allowed to have. However, Dad never said "no" if it was within reason - if he didn't want to say no, he said "Ask your mom" and then we heard "no". Anyways, the point is, surgery is obviously reasonable, factually inevitably, and the final stop on this rough, rugged, and to be honest, confusing journey.

Our family, the loving and kind and supportive people that they are, have decided to hold a raffle for an iPad on August 1st to help mitigate the cost of the surgery. Tickets can be bought through anyone of us. They are $10 a ticket and whatever you can buy or help us sell is greatly appreciated.
Please feel free to contact me, my sister or my mom about a ticket or two or ten, or about selling some or one hundred. Anything helps!

You have all been incredible the past few weeks - who knew we would be the most well known family in a hospital in just a short week??? There is no doubt in your mind that what comes from this is nothing short of God's handy work. We might not know the "why"'s or the "how"'s or any other question relating to Dad's condition or reasoning, but we know there is a reason regardless. And we know we need your continued help and support.

Thank you and God bless you. You're the best friends and family we could ever ask for and that alone is blessing enough.

Sailboat Racing and Such

I’m a little behind. I’ll admit. A lot has been going on – I know I always have a lot going on but this time it’s different. This time it’s true….

I have to interrupt myself. I feel like I am in a Woody Allen movie – if you know me, you know how much I love Woody Allen. Let me paint you a picture, shall I? I’m at this quaint little Italian food place, tucked away off the road and along the lakeside. Italian gentleman for a waiter, light tinkering of Italian music in the background, lush bushes and palm trees surround me, roses blooming, quiet chattering, sail boat race currently underway – it’s dream like. Oh yes, and a glass of red wine to go with the scenery.

Apparently, Villa Capri is the place to be for the Wednesday Night Boat Races at Lakewood Yacht Club. Good size group of earnest onlookers, monotone man announcing the race status, and me – clueless as a clam. I will learn what to look and listen for eventually. I could get used to this Wednesday Night race deal. Maybe I will make a friend or two.

Anyways, back to the updates.

Dogs are all acclimating well to our new home – there are three of them now, if you remember, they outnumber us!!! We LOVE our home. I wish we could have bought it! It’s older – very “Brady Bunch” – but has so many cool characteristics to it. Our backyard is HUGE and has a HUGE deck – perfect for puppies and parties. It’s very open, surprisingly, and is more than enough space for me and G.

The job is going well. A bit tedious at times. The drive is what gets me…. But I have been told to “hang in there” and that is what I will do. As long as I can

Race update – I have no idea where G is…. Hahah oops! At least I am here, right? Being a supportive fiancé!

Wedding planning – so fun!...and so not as stressful as everyone says. I am cool as a cucumber (for now). Dress is being made. All major items booked. Now it is down to the details, the fun stuff. I can see everything coming together so nicely. As rushed as this wedding has been to plan – it’s been quite easy. God’s on our side for sure!!! We all know how bananas I can get.

Race update – just saw G and the Good News crew. Monotone announcer man must know his dad – called him by a shortened version of his name haha and he just said they are winning!!!! (Glad he knows what’s going on!)

ANYWAYS!!!!

So – the big update – (check out caringbridge.com and search my dad’s name or Facebook for the full update on all this).

I’ve been having a lot of thoughts lately, almost too man to write down – hence the reason I haven’t written in a while.

My whole world just changed. New job. New home. New city. New fiancé. New eye opener…..

Dad

You immediately forget the things you thought were important when you find out your parent has some untreatable, incurable disease and needs lung transplants.

We started a Facebook group and website (as I mentioned) to keep people posted on the progress.

I should be used to this because I’ve been through the “things like this don’t happen to people like me or my family” scenario a few too many times. It’s all very surreal. I can’t even say he is “sick” because the dude looks fine! Goes to work. Isn’t “broken”. It won’t hurt him if you hug him. It’s hard to wrap my head around.

With so much going on from wedding planning, to moving, to starting a new job, to anticipating life events (like a new niece) and wedding shindigs – we have all had to take a step back and wrap our heads around what is going on. All the while, not losing sight of maintaining as normal a life as possible.

Race update – free food for racers…. Uhhh what about fiancé’s of racers???? Haha I guess G can eat!

There is too much to look forward to for him to give up or not try to stay well enough.

He can’t miss those things. He wouldn’t allow it. God is looking out and he will be around for a very, very long time. Whether or not he likes it or not – we will all make sure of it. So “tough titty said the kitty” – as Dad would say. I know he will be around for a long time. Just like I knew it wasn’t pneumonia that he had, and that they were doing to tell me he needed lung transplants – as your parent’s kid (race just ended) you know these things!

Again, I don’t think it has all quite sunk in yet. I think it’s because I know God will take care of him and get him what he needs to get through this. It’s a speed bump and the outcome will be for God’s benefit and we might never know the WHY in this situation. All we can do is hope and pray for the best.

My dad is strong. He is stubborn. He won’t give up. He has carried us through trials and tribulations aplenty – even before the child rearing years. He will walk me down the aisle (the only good excuse is a new lung or two!). He will see his grandkids grow up. He will get to retire. He will go to Vegas a million more times. Too many people rely on this man, on his service, friendship, guidance, and love. Shoot, G & I can’t even get married without him so he has to stick around. And we all know Z needs her Papa. The list goes on…

Thank you to everyone who has been helping, supporting praying for, and loving on my family – especially Dad. He never needs anyone – but now he does. Prayers for good news from the transplant team. Prayers for new lungs. Prayers for peace and understanding. This is all part of the plan – I should know by now, and so should you, that God’s plan is best.

Until next time, lovely people.

Race update: These Clear Lake people love Jimmy Buffet and I have no idea who won but apparently it is over.

The End.

Famous.

We are FAMOUS!!!!

Kind of...

Check out this photography/wedding blog that our engagement pictures and story are featured on - how exciting!!!


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