Let Them Be

Recently I've overheard and have been involved in conversations where the subject was children misbehaving. We all do it... There is always a bad kid. We might even have a bad kid (as difficult as it may be to admit). I used to be a bad kid to some degree (hard to believe, I KNOW!). But the baffling part about these conversations is that these kiddos dubbed "bad" really aren't at all.

I know we all have opinions of what constitutes "bad", and you're entitled to that opinion. Let's consider the facts though... 

A little boy getting exited while playing with his momma at a social gathering, away from most everyone - not bad even if his voice gets a little high... He is 3 years old. Deal with it. 

A little girl at Christmas time trying so hard to practice patience while waiting to open gifts - oh yea, and she is all about the magic and spirit of Christmas. Not bad. She is totally entitled to be a kid at Christmas. She is s true example of joy and happiness anyways, so we should be taking note... not reprimanding her. 

A little girl at a restaurant talking a little loudly. Engaging with the waiter and her family - not being "bad". she wasn't running around the restaurant or disturbing other people. She was being a child... a contributor to society in training. Her family hushed her a few times, but they never got upset with her... and they didn't need to.

Of course, there are teachable moments that pop up all the time when it comes to kiddos, but we have to remember that suppressing a child's ability to be themselves is only doing more harm than good. They are still "in training". Our words and actions carry an incredible amount of weight to a child. If you have an outgoing child, let them be outgoing but teach them to be polite about it. If you have a kid who loves to play and use their imagination, encourage them but teach them to play alone at times. Coming down on a child, scoffing at children that aren't yours, thinking a kid is "bad" when really they are expressing themselves - so not cool. All we can do as parents is use the "bad" moments as opportunities. Do your best as a parent and the rest will fall into place... and forget what the rest say.

You can even forget all of this, for all I care :)

My hope is for Grant to feel empowered to explore all of his personality traits, in a Christlike way... even if he gets out of hand from time to time. He is only 3.5 months so we have while :)

Update: the reason I wrote this is not clear. I wrote this because when I hear people talking about seemingly "bad" kiddos it freaks me out that Grant will or is a little terror in their eyes. But that's when I have to remind myself that those kids aren't awful. By any means. 

Please watch what you say around mommas. We are, especially new ones, absolutely freaked out about doing everything right and don't need to hear your opinions of what constitutes a bad kid. Because more often than not, those kids are perfectly fine in being their perfect mini selves.