What was your favorite gift this Christmas? A new phone? A new car?! A gift card to your favorite store or a new blue ray?
I wasn’t sure what mine was. I had a really great Christmas – regardless of gifts. I thought my favorite gift was the one that was going to contribute to my NY resolution – Zumba fitness for the Wii (complements of sister and brother in law)!!! After tearing apart my apartment, in search of my Wii, I had yet to set up since moving back to SA in May, I decided to start unpacking the Christmas sacks of gifts. I pulled out a book my Mom (and Dad) gave me.
When I received the book, I looked at it and thought, “A children’s book, great, thanks???” I showed some half hearted appreciation and set it aside. I hadn’t looked at it, or honestly thought about it since Christmas morning. I pulled it out of a sack, while my Wii ran an update, sat down, puppies fighting to be next to me, and opened the front cover. The book is called, “Wherever you are, my love will find you” and is written by Nancy Tillman. Apparently her goal in life is to convey to children that “You are loved”.
Inside was a note I didn’t notice before. It was from my mom. Her perfect cursive handwriting, of which I’ve always envied, gave that away. I read the note, tears formed; I turned the page and began to read…and cry. Each page brought a new set of rather large tears. It’s not a sad book. They weren’t sad tears. Just made me realize how loved I am. Inside the cover there is a sentence that reads “I wanted you more than you ever will know, so I sent love to follow wherever you go”. My mom is awesome. She has been there for me through everything the past two years. Who gets on a plane to fly to Dallas at the slightest inclination that I was not okay??? She does. Who drives to Dallas and spends their spring break with me in the hospital? My family.
For months – probably since I started this blog – a very special person has been waiting for me to write about my family and how much love there is between us. I never realized how right she was when she would tell me, “You are the luckiest little dot in the whole world to have a family like yours.” So here you go, Ms. D. I never had the exact words until now, I think…I hope. (My nickname from Ms. D and Bean is “dot”)
I am one of the lucky ones. 2010 and 2011 were two of the hardest years I’ve had to endure thus far – because I’ve lived so many, right!?! 2012 will be better. I know that because I know I am blessed beyond belief by the family I have. They love and care about my bratty, stubborn, sass mouthing, up to no good ass more than I could ever hope for. They put me in my place. They are my reality check. They are my number one fans. They are my biggest supporters. They are the first to call me out. They are the first to push my buttons and let me tell you – they know which ones to push! They are the first ones I call (group text!) when I am sad, have a phone mishap, a car accident even if it is my fault, have a question about anything, or want advice on something but don’t necessarily want to ask for it. We are outspoken and loud. Love everyone we meet. Want nothing but the best for one another. We are also complete opposites in regard to so many things. But I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.
I can only hope to love my children as much as my parents love me, my sister, brother (in law) and niece.
“And if someday you’re lonely,
Or someday you’re sad,
Or you strike out at baseball,
Or think you’ve been bad…
Just lift up your face, feel the wind in your hair.
That’s me, my sweet baby, my love is right there.”
There are an exorbitant amount of times I felt lonely and sad in the past two years.
“In the green of the grass…in the smell of
the sea…in the clouds floating by…
at the top of a tree…in the sound
crickets make at the end of the day…
You are loved. You are loved. You are loved,” they all say.”
I have never in my life seen or felt love like my family’s.
My favorite Christmas gift was my new book. In addition to the realization this blog post testifies to – the endless love I am constantly surrounded by and never have to ask or search for. All I can do is thank the Lord for them daily!
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