Love is a many splendored thing

Not going to try to explain where I heard what you’re about to read but I can tell you it involves a friend (K) of a friend of a friend of a friend, and some random airplane lady…along with my added comments in parentheses – I always have some sort of “two cent” comment to throw in the mix!

“We need to teach our daughters and granddaughters (and nieces, and cousins, and girlfriends, and younger sisters) to distinguish between a man (this should say little boy)  who flatters her and a man who compliments her, a man (millionaire) who spends money on her and a man who invests in her, a man (real estate agent) who views her as property and a man who views her properly, a man (pervert)  who lusts after her and a man who loves her, a man (dummy) who believes he is God’s gift to women and a man (of God) who remembers that a woman was God’s gift to man”

I know you aren’t all women reading this, but we (women)….single women….need to be a little more aware of the type of men (young boys) in our lives. There is no need, whatsoever, to invest YOUR time and YOUR heart in someone that isn’t going to treat you the way you deserve – as a gift from God to your man.

Shoot – I’ve done it. Over and over and over. It’s not to say that those guys haven’t grown up since or haven’t learned how to treat a woman or treated me horribly necessarily but at the time the investment had a negative return. Broken hearted, pieces scattered, more time spent cleaning it all up, weeks and months of a jaded self-image, I could go on but the point is – is it worth it? The best excuse I’ve heard and have given is, “Well, I’ve put in this much effort so I shouldn’t give up just yet. It will get better.”

This all goes back to the whole “be still” thing I keep referring to. I’m not still enough. I’m too worried about putting out a fire that I cannot control. I don’t listen to the one voice I should. Instead I listen to family and friends who might be overly biased. I don’t doubt that the Lord uses certain people as guardian angels but be wise in who you ask advice from – your 13 year old best friend might not be the best one to turn to. We make our lives…let me rephrase…I make my life a lot harder than it needs to be sometimes.

For everyone (especially me!): Wisen up. Read the biblical definition of LOVE before you ever say, “I LOVE YOU” to a guy or gal. Make sure that everything the definition calls for exists between you and whoever you are with. Let me refresh your memory with a summary of 1 Corinthians 13:

Love is…

1.       Patient –so if someone has a hot temper with you – say “see ya!”

2.       Kind – think “golden rule”

3.       Does not envy - think partnership, you should be on the same team

4.       Does not brag – same as above

5.       Is not proud – same as above

6.       Does not dishonor others – you’re God’s gift to man, you should cherish each other

7.       Is not self-seeking – same as above

8.       Is not easily angered – see #1

9.       Keeps no record of wrongs – things should be dealt with and laid to rest, no grudges

10.   Does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth – accountability

11.   ALWAYS:

a.       Protects – each other

b.      Trusts – between one another

c.       Hopes – for the best

d.      Perseveres – through hard times, because it isn’t always easy

12.   Never fails – so before you say “I LOVE YOU” make sure it’s going to last

Have you ever read it that way…line by line…for what it truly is and says?

Hope this wasn’t too “soap box” ish.

“Love is a many splendored thing” – Frank Sinatra J

Awesome. Hit the Nail on the Head

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4OK9DmLpCY&sns=em

I love this. Everything he says rings true. I asked God to speak to me last night.

I asked for understanding.

For an answer to the question "why"?

I think this is it.

His timing is perfect. His will, undeniable.

I googled key words and looked under "prints and posters" on Pinterest.

God is everywhere. So I took a chance. Maybe he would speak to me there.

I don't think I've ever been still enough to hear Him. I met someone a few days ago and recently they told me of several times they heard the voice of God.

At first I was in awe of this person. Then felt sorry for myself. Then upset with myself for never being still, diligent in prayer and petition, and seeking the answers.

So my first move, as I laid in bed unable to fall asleep after hearing about the Men of Light conference from this new friend, was google and Pinterest. Not even the bible!

I stand convicted. I tossed and turned all night.

But then Facebook seemed to open my eyes this morning. My lovely friend A, who I get to see next weekend, posted the above you tube video.

It contained the answer I was looking for.

God works in mysterious ways. Even through Facebook!

Extremely long, and incredibly uneventful - kind of

Well, it’s been a while. What’s new?  Nothing really. Life isn’t an amazing race but it isn’t too boring. I am doing things a bit differently and I’ve actually accomplished a resolution or two! Here’s a recap:

1.       I read a book! I know that wasn’t on my “blog version” of resolutions but it’s been on my mind a while. The whole point is that I love movies and I like to read but I don’t get many recommendations. I decided to read the book before seeing the movie since many movies are made from books. “Extremely Loud and Incredible Close” was started January 15^th and finished January 21^st around 5:45pm; just in time for the movie at 8:35. I hadn’t even seen a preview! All in all it was an awesome movie.  The younger crowd at the theater was a bit of a shock.  Not too sure they fully understood.  However, as I write this I realize I am confused. I feel like I misread but surely I didn’t.  That just might be a downfall to reading the book before seeing the movie. Major parts were altered but they both were amazing. I took note of two other ‘book turned movie’ flicks.

2.       Giving second chances – hasn’t been going too well.  May need to revise this one. I am a firm believer in that some people are meant to only be in your life for a time, a season… they serve a purpose and that’s all. Whether or not we know or understand what that reason is, is a whole other story!

3.       Saying “no” to things. I’m finally catching on. Saying “no” doesn’t always mean I am mad or just being a jerk. It simply means I have to do what’s right to protect my heart. Minimizes stress and worry, that’s for sure!

4.       Random thought – I feel lately, due to less blogging (maybe?) that my head fills with thoughts a lot faster. Like I can’t put them into words fast enough.  Some nonsense; some profound.  For example, I had to get this all out right now. The past few weeks I’ve wanted to write about songs, and quotes, and God and now that book. All week I have been wanted to tell how awesome it was and how I related to it. I might revisit number 1.

5.       Traveling – I went to San Angelo! I visited my BFF, K.  We had an awesome time. Even though San Angelo, TX isn’t the most exciting place, it was so great o do a whole lot of nothing. It was really nice to catch up and spend quality time watching the Food Network, HGTV, and Style.  I love my friend.  Being so much at the same point in life with someone is a blessing; knowing someone understands your heart is huge! It’s so great to be there for someone and have them there for you no matter what.  Those are the people, unlike the few in #2, that are ‘lifers’.  I am blessed to have many. So traveling is getting accomplished – just need to plan a big trip soon! But corpus in 2 weeks will be nice – visiting another couple ‘lifers’!

6.       So, I failed one of my resolutions.  Less doctor visits.  Nothing major but I learned my lesson about waiting out any type of pain.  If it hurts or something doesn’t feel right, see a doc! So I did. I am fine. Meds are helpful. However, googling something the day before about issues encountered after an appendectomy totally jinxed me!

So back to the book/movie. Book first.  Book was awesome.  The little boy is incredible. Oskar Schell. Loved him and still think he is real.  If he were, we’d be friends.  I think we are very similar.  In the book, he would ‘invent’ things in his mind – it was his way of dealing with the current situation or how he was feeling. He also did it to take his mind off of things.  He would come up with all these crazy inventions and ideas like pocket extensions, buildings that moved instead of having elevators, incredibly long limos, and everyone having the same heart beat the way women who live together have the same menstrual cycle. He would always have an elaborate idea to answer the question “why” or “how”. In a similar way I use hopes and dreams to deal with things or situations.  Sometimes, and this happens often or more than it should, I can dream up an entire new life.  Maybe that’s why I played with barbies so much and for so long! I dealt/deal with things by way of dream. When things get bad or when I have hope in something or someone – my dreams run away with my reality. This is not always a good thing.

The book had many elements that the movie did not.  However, if it were to contain the exact same content, the movie would be awfully long.  Also, the comedic relief in the book was severely lacking in the movie. The movie gave me ‘heavy boots’. That’s what Oskar would always say in regard to his mood.  He had light or heavy boots. The book was written so well.  To the point.  The love and feeling of the person speaking poured onto the page.  When the child was narrating/speaking, you felt him. Even when it switched to letters written by the grandparents, the words were so heartfelt. The grandma, in the book, would always tell Oskar, “I hope you never think of anyone as much as I think about you” and at first I was confused, but now – I know who I might tell that to one day. My niece, I love that little woman to pieces.

The book was confusing sometimes. But so real. It represented every human emotion so well. I could go on and on about the book.  There were so many thoughts I had at one point.  I loved the ending.  Life is never simple. We all need closure.  Closure is something I think a lot of us struggle with.  It’s a very difficult thing to obtain.  Part of me believes it just happens.  It’s a timing issue.  Some find closure for things way before others.  I also believe the rate in which one finds closure is very situational. 

Few random thoughts before I go

1. I love my job.  Each day is different and exciting and busy.  I am so blessed to be where I am, with the people I am there with.  It’s a great feeling- doing what you love – and knowing it will be like that for many, many years. Very exciting!

2. do you ever think about something and realize that with each thought/inquiry/research attempt, you actually begin to understand less.  What would that be called? Irony? A paradox? A coincidence? Whatever it is, it sucks. It provides an individual with absolutely no closure.

3. All natural, unsweetened cranberry juice sucks

4. I love that I still dream even if those dreams might never come true. Someone has to have hope right? Even if it hurts in the end. For example – me as an amazing bakery chef, a mom, a book critic, a marathon runner, etc.

Have an awesome week. Keep dreaming J we all have a little Oskar Schell in us!

Life Resolutions

Happy new year!

Ok - maybe I'm a little late. Nevertheless, I hope 2012 has started off on the right foot for you!

I originally wrote this, recorded it actually, on my phone on January 1st, technically the 2nd because it was past midnight.  I'm not sure where to begin, there seems to be a lot of room for improvement these days, as far as new year's resolutions go.  What is a New Year's resolution? I feel like I need to italicize or bold or quote the phrase "New Year's resolutions". There, I did all three! But is it simply to lose weight, to eat better, to read a book a week, to know God? What about your own heart? What can He tell you about your own heart?

We spend so much time being criticized by people, society, ourselves. What is good and what is bad; what is right and what is wrong? Who we should talk to and who we shouldn't talk to; who we should be friends with and who we shouldn't be friends with...it's as though high school never ended sometimes. But who cares what others say...what about our person? Do you even like who you are as a person? There have been  SEVERAL moments, more than I can count, when I didn't like who I was or became someone I didn't even recognize.  Not because I was depressed or had a poor self image during these times, but because I realized I wasn't being the best me I could be and should be.

But really, do you like who you are as a person? Would you make you smile? Would you be there for you? Do you take care of you? Would you put you first? Would you LOVE you?

Here are a few resolutions I plan to adopt and maintain. Surely there will be tweeks along the way, possibly with each new year:

- Less hospital visits
- Less doctor visits in general, if possible
- Living a healthy life style
- More time with family and friends
- Traveling more...maybe taking a trip alone somewhere! (I know about 10 people will shake their head at this one)
- Worrying less (and this one)
- Less car accidents (oh man, and this one and the next one!)
- Less cell phone mishaps...Less cell phone, period.
- Making wiser decisions
- Living in the moment so that it can all soak in
- Not focusing on the future TOO MUCH
- Setting goals and reaching them - never becoming complacent or comfortable with what I"ve "done" or "contributed"
- Making plans and following them through
- HA! Not making plans and being more spontaneous
- Making new friends and keeping old ones
- Building authentic and real relationships with people
- Learn to love everyone as though they are family including, but not limited to, the guy on the street corner, a coworker, even a new friend
- Not being afraid to try new things
- Learning how to say no
- Weeding out the negative and focusing on the positive
- Following God's plan, the will for my life
- Don't try to busy myself with "things" but with meaning
- Become filled with the love of God and allow His light to shine through me to others
- Address issues as they arise; don't hold grudges
- Forgive, fix, move on
- Give someone a second or third chance...or fourth or fifth if I believe in them and our relationship (friendship)
-Help other people be better...don't "change" them; enable and empower them to see the true potential they possess
- Walk the walk and talk the talk - in everything I do, believe, and stand for
- Sing karaoke with my BFF
- Send a card. Heck! Get a Hallmark card subscription!
- Call someone because I have 5 minutes
- Be ok with having been let down and know that at some point I've let others down too - minimize let downs!
- Actually being ok with things not going according to "plan"
- Learning how to deal with things when  they don't go "right"
Be the best person you can be.

You only have one thing to work with and that's you; you aren't going to find what you're looking for in other people.  We are all here for a reason. To do something great. Even if no one notices, God does. So for 2012 and beyond, be the best person you know how to be. Be true to yourself and what you believe in. Love you for you. And COUNT EVERY  BLESSING YOU HAVE!!!

I'm the luckiest little dot in the world!!!

What was your favorite gift this Christmas? A new phone? A new car?! A gift card to your favorite store or a new blue ray?

I wasn’t sure what mine was. I had a really great Christmas – regardless of gifts. I thought my favorite gift was the one that was going to contribute to my NY resolution – Zumba fitness for the Wii (complements of sister and brother in law)!!! After tearing apart my apartment, in search of my Wii, I had yet to set up since moving back to SA in May, I decided to start unpacking the Christmas sacks of gifts.  I pulled out a book my Mom (and Dad) gave me.

When I received the book, I looked at it and thought, “A children’s book, great, thanks???” I showed some half hearted appreciation and set it aside. I hadn’t looked at it, or honestly thought about it since Christmas morning. I pulled it out of a sack, while my Wii ran an update, sat down, puppies fighting to be next to me, and opened the front cover. The book is called, “Wherever you are, my love will find you” and is written by Nancy Tillman.  Apparently her goal in life is to convey to children that “You are loved”.

 Inside was a note I didn’t notice before. It was from my mom. Her perfect cursive handwriting, of which I’ve always envied, gave that away. I read the note, tears formed; I turned the page and began to read…and cry. Each page brought a new set of rather large tears. It’s not a sad book. They weren’t sad tears.  Just made me realize how loved I am. Inside the cover there is a sentence that reads “I wanted you more than you ever will know, so I sent love to follow wherever you go”. My mom is awesome. She has been there for me through everything the past two years. Who gets on a plane to fly to Dallas at the slightest inclination that I was not okay??? She does. Who drives to Dallas and spends their spring break with me in the hospital? My family.

For months – probably since I started this blog – a very special person has been waiting for me to write about my family and how much love there is between us. I never realized how right she was when she would tell me, “You are the luckiest little dot in the whole world to have a family like yours.” So here you go, Ms. D. I never had the exact words until now, I think…I hope. (My nickname from Ms. D and Bean is “dot”)

I am one of the lucky ones. 2010 and 2011 were two of the hardest years I’ve had to endure thus far – because I’ve lived so many, right!?! 2012 will be better. I know that because I know I am blessed beyond belief by the family I have. They love and care about my bratty, stubborn, sass mouthing, up to no good ass more than I could ever hope for.  They put me in my place. They are my reality check. They are my number one fans. They are my biggest supporters. They are the first to call me out. They are the first to push my buttons and let me tell you – they know which ones to push! They are the first ones I call (group text!) when I am sad, have a phone mishap, a car accident even if it is my fault, have a question about anything, or want advice on something but don’t necessarily want to ask for it.  We are outspoken and loud. Love everyone we meet. Want nothing but the best for one another. We are also complete opposites in regard to so many things. But I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.

I can only hope to love my children as much as my parents love me, my sister, brother (in law) and niece.

“And if someday you’re lonely,

Or someday you’re sad,

Or you strike out at baseball,

Or think you’ve been bad…

Just lift up your face, feel the wind in your hair. 

That’s me, my sweet baby, my love is right there.”

There are an exorbitant amount of times I felt lonely and sad in the past two years.  

“In the green of the grass…in the smell of

the sea…in the clouds floating by…

at the top of a tree…in the sound

crickets make at the end of the day…

You are loved.  You are loved.  You are loved,” they all say.”

I have never in my life seen or felt love like my family’s.

My favorite Christmas gift was my new book. In addition to the realization this blog post testifies to – the endless love I am constantly surrounded by and never have to ask or search for. All I can do is thank the Lord for them daily!