The Struggle is Real

I don't know about you but I am the kind of person that needs to constantly keep moving forward - in all things: work, relationships, goals, life in general... but this poses a problem when the one thing I truly desire more than anything is relationships with people.

"Why is that a problem?" you may ask.

Mainly because, and this may come a shock to some as it has to me, but not everyone craves relationship. Come to find out, many are OKAY with moving on from whatever relationship they had with you. Whether is be an ex-boyfriend and the horrible break up that was had, or leaving a job and the coworkers you cared about, losing a friend for one reason or another, or realizing that people are comfortable with their current group of "people" and aren't interested in expanding... it sucks no matter what the circumstance. Maintaining, mending, and fostering relationships is hard work.

I also know there are two sides to every story. Maybe someone did try and then they gave up. That makes my little heart sad. I've had to give up before and giving up is not something I deal well with, even if it is inevitable. Maybe it's a "closure" issue... but it's a nagging feeling and it's very hard for me to accept that something has come to an end.

With the holidays upon us, take the time to reach out to someone, make an effort to make amends, offer support, lend an ear, or simply take the time to say "hello". This can be a very lonely time of year for many people.

Update: currently realizing that 1. I may have been nixed from a book club I was part of and 2. Even reaching out to an old friend re: a topic you used to find great joy in sharing, may not prove to be fruitful. Really praying for understanding... These circumstances, while they may seem small to some, are very hard for me. But this is real life, and even though I know some parts of the "why," I may never fully understand....

Merry Christmas!

Over it.

I've read one too many articles about stay at home moms (SAHMs) versus working outside the home moms. 

It truly is ridiculous some of the things that are thrown around as truth. 

Here's some truth for you... We all work hard, we all are doing the best we can in our situation, we are all making sacrifices every day! 

Do you think you deserve to be held up on a pedestal because you're a mom?? Is that what you thought you signed up for when you got pregnant? Do you feel entitled? 

News flash!!! No one gets a gold star or medal. Your sacrifices are part of the territory- whether you stay home or work outside the home. I learned that real quick. You sacrifice so much for your little(s) and husband... Your family. 

Think of the proverbs 31 woman- look how much she did for her household! She had a servants heart, contributed to her household (whether she had a job or stayed home) in so many ways, was her husband's biggest fan and support system, she was logical and methodical and was the foundation of her household. 

Did you think it was going to be a cake walk? Do you think God gave you more than you deserve? Wrong! You're in the exact place He wants you. 

Being a mom is hard work. Period. End of story. You don't get to breeze by "Go" or collect $200 just because. This isn't monopoly and you probably don't live on Park Place Ave. 

Get with the program... Dig down deep into that servants heart of yours... Pray for clarity and understanding in your situation and know that where you are, is exactly where God wants you. You're not better than anyone else in any situation. You do you, and no one else. 

You're a rockstar momma!! 

We have a 1 year old... Holy!

Time sped up the moment our little was born.

I have no idea how 12 months flew by, but they did.

Some days I didn't know if I would make it through the first year, and other times I felt on top of the world.

My husband and I were challenged in ways we never thought possible - how much we could love another person besides one another, how many times we would say "no", the ways we would deal with each other, and how we chose to parent.

It is important to remember the good and the not so good... here is what I want to remember.

• How alert he was as a newborn
• His "O" face
• The way his head was shaped by the vacuum 
• How beautiful his eyes are 
• The way his hair grew in, like a toupee
• His dancing and wiggling when music comes on
• His first steps in his 10th month
• The way he throws himself, arms wide open, at people
• When he shakes his head after being told "no-no"
• The time he climbed up on the fireplace
• How contently he will sit and listen to a story 
• The moments we share while nursing 
• His blow out diapers and some of the craziness associated 
• Bath time and his love for splashing water everywhere
• The way he says "mom" and "dada"
• How he points at stuff and says "dat" 
• His infectious laugh
• How he throws balls then waves his arm
• When he says "ah da" for "all done" and waves his hands
• How surprisingly easy it was to sleep train him 
• When he got his first two teeth at 3 months old 
• How excited he gets when he is on his little trampoline 

And I'm sure there is so much more. 

The one thing I want to remember, above all else, is the amazing feeling of unconditional love and being able to see it and be reminded of it on a daily basis 

Let them Grow

I love to see our friends babies growing up via pictures on facebook. Pregnancy and growing humans is a fascinating thing.  We should all know by now that facebook isn't exactly our best friend and that sometimes it can be our own worst enemy. I say this because, as much as I love to see all the baby posts, it makes me truly sad when parents boast about their child's abilities when it's far beyond what a child of that age should be expected... Here are some examples:

- babies walking when their bodies aren't ready to walk
- babies eating foods their tiny bodies can't process
- babies being overweight and thinking it's okay

It is scientifically proven that babies of certain ages can't handle the weight of their body. It's also scientifically proven that their body can't handle certain food. Their tummy is tiny! And yes, we all love a chubby baby, but boasting about how chubby your child is probably isn't teaching them good eating habits for later in life... Give them a chance to be little. They can't tell you that they can't handle certain foods or their development may be impacted by your encouragement for them to be grown.

I don't know if it's because social media has everyone subconsciously competing, but why would you want to encourage certain behavior so early that will lead to bad habits later? You're the adult. You're the example.

Let them crawl and discover.  Let them learn how to pull up. Don't give up if you're able to breast feed. Let them take a bottle filled with primary and essential nutrients (not necessarily breast milk) longer than 6 months. Let them eat pureed food when they are ready. Let them learn how to digest and how to ask for more or less. Let them be little. Let them grow.

Be encouraging, but be mindful of the facts.

If they are a natural walker - great!

If they naturally have a large appetite - awesome!

But please think before you encourage - let them develop and evolve. Let them grow. When you do, you're teaching them so much more!

Becoming child-like

I've noticed something lately. I've begun to understand, more and more, what it means to have child-like love and faith. My son teaches me so much at 10 months old!

I fear that as we get older, we will revert back to old ways and over time will not be the best example for him. So...

Here are a few examples that I've been meaning to document as a reminder for myself during those times when I find myself behaving less than Christ-like:

- the way my son beams with an ear to ear smile when one of us walks in the room ... We should do the same. It's inviting and makes you feel so important. On the home-front, the first 30 seconds after getting home from work dictates the way the rest of the evening may go! 

- his need for affection ... Get those endorphins up! 

- his adventurous spirit ... Sure he may not be able to fly so crawling off the couch isn't ideal but, his inhibition and high level of trust is second to none. He is learning to protect himself during the process of discovery.

- his lack of stranger danger ... It's so awesome the way he opens up to people and makes himself completely vulnerable while also being aware of where mom and dad are ... Relationships are so important to him already!!   His trust and faith in people is astounding.