Yesterday was a big deal. The 15th of February, to be exact. Yesterday, four years ago, my man asked me to be his forever. Obviously, I said yes and here we are, doing this thing called life and rockin' it (read: fakin' it till we make it)!
Even though yesterday was like most days, between work, a toddler and a baby - it was insane and overly eventful. To say that we were tired and ready to give up, throw on our pajamas, eat ice cream out of the carton, not say a word to one another and slowly drift off to sleep after staring at our phones for an hour...is an understatement. But, we did it. We got through the day, we adulted, we went to community group, we put on happy faces. Unfortunately, we still went to bed without a word to one another. Real talk. Real life.
The worst part about yesterday, such a special day, was that I was mad at him most of it. I woke up this morning thinking, "here we go," fed the baby and got to work. Then I started to think, while the house was still quiet, and I realized that I wanted a do-over. I wanted to try again at yesterday because I have this insane expectation of my husband that is totally unfair to him. I expect him to be a mind reader, a fortune teller, Gilligan and the millionaire. Kidding.
Stress is a killer... it's a snake that comes in and steals joy and sucks the life right out of us! Who handles stress as poorly as I do?? I am going to imagine that a sea of hands are raised because I do NOT want to be alone in this.
Another question, why do we treat those closest to us, the worst? He is an amazingly perceptive guy, way better than I am. He knows when I am failing and always rescues me from my own catastrophes. He does all. the. things. All the things, and more! So why was/am I so harsh? Why did I let stress impact our special day?
Who do you have insane expectations set for, if anyone? How can we get a grip and come back to earth?
I think my post about grace hits the nail on the head. Grace for self and grace for others goes a really long way. I also know I have to change my outlook on stress, to see it as a challenge and a way to grow instead of as a hindrance and total buzz kill. Lastly, I know I need to respect and love and cherish the man that got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife.
So today I am giving myself a second chance - whether he likes it or not - and I am going to be better than I was yesterday. I am going to make myself slow down, to have a conversation with him, to kiss and hug him when we get home and to not jump down his throat if my day ends up in the garbage.
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