So lately on life with a baby… people ask “what’s new?” and all I can say is, “everything and nothing at the same time”.
It is the weirdest thing… post-partum… For those who haven’t experienced this or haven’t quite recognized what it is they are experiencing, it’s the most BS thing ever.
Our life is beautiful. Our little tea cup life is overflowing, daily. We want for nothing. But there are those moments. Those moments the devil creeps in and takes over. Where, even though there is absolutely nothing wrong, my world seems to be in pieces. When the sun is covered by the moon and life is just plain dark. When the laughter stops and tears flow. Where fear, anxiety, and depression wiggle their way deep into my marrow. And the worst part of all, is there isn’t a reason for any of it.
There is always tomorrow. Right? On “those days” (the bad ones) I cling tightly to the hope of a tomorrow, of a do-over. Tomorrow isn’t always quite as bright as a few days before but it isn’t quite as dark as it could be. But some days, and some weeks are as bright as I’ve ever seen!
I coined the phrase, “everything and nothing” when a friend asked what had been going on with me lately. That’s how “this” feels and even though it sounds negative… it’s almost encouraging to me. I see it like this, there could be so much of the bad going on (everything) but yet none of it is real and none of it should steal my joy (nothing) because right now, or at any given moment, I am all things positive and good.
On days when a little black rain cloud wants to follow me around… I will choose to see the sun, to feel joy, to find my happy.
The best part, is it doesn’t have to be hard…there is good all around me!
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