Who are you?

"If you want to know me, you have to know this...."

What would you say? What do you stand for? Believe in? Feel? Care about?

Is it all for you and only you? Do you only do what you want to do because that's how you perceive "living life to the fullest"?

Do you have a pretty good idea that who you are is God's magnificent creation?

What about what you do? Is it God's will? Do you know what God's will for your life is?

Is there a burning desire for something/someone that you've never been able to over come?

Ever thought about why it's there?

What would you tell someone if they wanted to know you? What is in your heart? Who are you?

Just some questions I've been asking myself lately as I find myself having to tell people about who I am. Whether I am meeting someone in a social setting, over coffee, in a business meeting, at a networking event, etc....I find that I am the only person who represents me.

If you want to know me, you have to know this...I love God, my family and friends; I'm a tenacious firecracker who doesn't give up easily; I LOVE, love; I'm a listener and a talker; I feel too much sometimes, care too much all the time, and definitely do NOT have things figured out; I'm a desperate wanderer still trying to figure out what God's plan is; I am new to the practice of taking life a day at a time.

Happy Birthday to my BFF!

Two years ago today, the good Lord blessed our entire family with the most beautiful thing to ever walk the earth. My niece - Z. I remember leaving the night time Easter service Saturday night, April 3^rd 2010 and getting a text from my brother in law that they were on the way to the hospital. I was told to hang tight until they admitted my sister into the hospital. I didn’t sleep a wink. Got in the car at 5am, hauled butt to San Antonio from Dallas, and made it within 45 minutes of her birth. It was love at first sight – and a huge stream of tears. 

On my way to work this morning a song by Nichole Nordeman & Amy Grant came on and it made me cry! It’s called “I’m With You” and it’s perfect. In December of 2010, before she was even a year old, I knew that my niece would fill a huge void that no one ever would. This describes a bit of what was going on in my heart at the time:

“Love is a hurricane in a blue sky
I didn’t see it coming, never knew why
All the laughter and the dreams
All the memories in between
Washed away in a steady stream

Love is a hunger; a famine in your soul
I thought I planted beauty, but it would never grow.
Now I’m on my hands and knees
trying to gather up my dreams
trying to hold on to anything”

But then when the dust settled and my prayers for filling a void were answered – all I saw was Z. And now I feel like this:

“You do your best to build a higher wall
To keep love safe from any wrecking ball
When the dust has cleared, we will
See the house that love rebuilds
Guarding beauty that lives here still

It’s you and me, me and you
Where you go I’ll go too
I’m with you, I’m with you
Until your heart, finds a home
I won’t let you feel alone
I’m with you, I’m with you

Who can say I’m left with nothing
When I have all of you, all of you, yeah
In the way you’ve always loved me
I remember. He does too”

Even though she is only 2 and probably just thinks of me as her awesome T Jess - I will never let Z go a day without knowing she is loved and that God will always be her rock – preschool, kinder, middle, even worse high school, college, down the aisle, and beyond – until the day I die. 

She is so intelligent, can carry a full conversation with you, she is witty, funny, charming, a little woman, beautiful inside and out, has big brown eyes yearning to know all about everything, an amazing imagination, a servants heart, and a particular kindness that you don’t see very often. And she is only 2! This kid is incredible. I am so proud to be her Aunt. 

Happy birthday, little woman!