5/25

"I am 16, going on 17...." You know you love the Sound of Music!

Speaking of getting older and wiser, my 29th year has started off with a bang in that department. It's always fun to learn and grow to have a better understanding of things - human nature, money, love, relationships, health, etc. 

I recently ran across Warren Buffett's 5/25 rule and REALLY need to let this soak in or I'll lose more years than I gain with every birthday. 

Have you heard of this? 

What are the top 25 things you love? Rank them. What are the top 5 things of those top 25 that you SUPER love? Maybe you love starting businesses but you SUPER love building websites - find a way to make them both work. Maybe you want to learn how to play an instrument but you SUPER love simply listening to music - say "yes" to more concerts! Maybe you love someone and put a lot of effort into making it work but realize your well being is a SUPER love - ditch them. Maybe you love your job and like the path your career is taking you but you SUPER love your family.... evaluate what's going on there or find a way to get them both in your Top 5.

In order to focus on the Top 5, we must clear off and say "no" to the other 20 so the distraction is eliminated. 

Maybe bed rest has my mind a little too freed up to be thinking about such things but, I'm excited to start saying "NO" to those things that will take small moments or maybe even years away from me - lost hours of sleep, lost time with friends and family, lost chances for improved well being. 

When Change is a Good Thing

You know those really fun, but often really cheesy Facebook quizzes that are always popping up on your news feed? I took one. Well, okay that's a lie, I've taken a million. I can't help it! I'm addicted to learning more about me - from what my favorite color says about my parenting style to what fast food joint lines up with my zodiac sign -  how narcissistic is that? I don't care. Keep your judgement to yourself.

Anyways, one in particular got me thinking! It was spot on, as most are (except the one about the fast food place because it said McDonald's aligned with my zodiac {Leo} and if you know me, you know I wouldn't be caught DEAD at a McDonald's... sorry, not sorry).

This was based on the Myers Briggs personality typology. I had taken the full MB test as a freshman in college ... too many years ago... and it was interesting to see how my results varied!

There was one BIG variance. When I took the test the first time, I was an ESTJ - extroverted, sensing, thinking, judging type. Which really makes sense for that time in my life. See, I had a tendency to be a little sh** sometimes - hard to believe, right? Don't answer that.

Needless to say, I was more than pleased with my new 4-letter personality type. And no, it wasn't the S word!

My results the other day were ESFJ - extroverted, sensing, FEELING, judging. And you know what I blame for that little F?

Hormones.

Kidding, but really... If I really dial it back and think about the root cause of the change, my husband pops into my head. I think the change happened when I fell in love with him. (Yes, layering on the cheese here). It was the moment that I finally gave up all {{most}} of my selfish ways, the moment I really began to lean on someone and to open my whole heart up to the vulnerability of LOVE.

Comparing the two personality types in my head, given my life experiences, while only one letter different, makes it seem like such a HUGE change. You're not doomed to hell if you're an ESTJ but for me, it's definitely a positive step forward. As an ESTJ I was really harsh on myself and others. I held myself to ridiculous and ungodly standards. I wasn't a nice person as an ESTJ (you may be a peach!).

As an ESFJ, I feel liberated and validated! I am so excited to feel, to empathize, to need the presence of others on a deeper level. Bless my husband's introverted heart for putting up with me!

What is your MB personality type? What strengths and weaknesses do you have or struggle with? How have you changed throughout the years?

I'm thankful for that little F.

But I also blame hormones.

Just stop.

I am so sad for the world that my babies will have to grow up in. Pregnant with baby girl and having a 21 month old makes you feel things you never thought you would feel. Has every past generation been in such fear for their future children's lives?

I know social media exploits everything and, maybe ignorance is bliss but, this is where we come in.

We can be the change.

We don't have to "share" that post favoring one side or the other - even if it's positive! Just stop. We don't have to make opinionated comments when someone says something about praying for a situation. Just stop and pray. We are ALL entitled to our own opinion but where the entitlement has taken everyone is just beyond my comprehension. There shouldn't even be sides. If all my Facebook feed consisted of was friends trying to sell their businesses, puppies, bible verses and funny meme's, I would be okay with that. The ONLY time your voice should be heard is when you're speaking in love.

No, that doesn't mean we all have to sit in a circle and sing "Kumbaya" together around a campfire. I'll be the first to admit that some people just downright get on my nerves. It doesn't mean I hate them or that I am going to berate them in front of others or on social media and it certainly doesn't mean I am going to shoot them.

I had a teacher who used to say, with utmost confidence, "Don't bitch about something unless you're going to do something about it!" While that's not the most appropriate declaration for a high school teacher to make, it actually holds a lot of truth. However, that particular action or truth is skewed in today's society. Doing something about "it" doesn't mean returning hate with hate or acting as if you're superior or even inferior.  It doesn't even mean commenting on a post to feel like a contributing member of society. You're not contributing.

Stop comparing cards and weighing sides. Be the change. Just stop. Choose love.

20 months and 20 weeks

I can't believe we are already half way through this pregnancy. I say "we" because, while I'm clearly the one growing our sweet baby L, it takes my little village to keep the wheels on the bus. 

It's been a very good and easy pregnancy aside from a few things- more morning sickness than with Bubba in the first trimester, more exhaustion due to keeping up with our 20 month old's ever expanding personality (and wants, needs, demands!), and the early onset of the "bump" that my body decided was OK to produce. 

I will say this... Girls are SO different from little boys. There is so much STUFF out there that you feel you need. And deciding on a nursery theme and decor, well I'll just go ahead and admit I have done nothing. 

All that to say, we are so excited to meet our sweet baby girl and are ready for this whole new adventure of raising a daughter... I think! 

Promise I'll Shut-up

So, I need to get something off my chest, then I swear I will shut up.

The past few months have been rough, as per my previous post. I've learned some really tough lessons and I am trying to chalk it all up to "growing pains" and not that I potentially suck at life. At 28 years old, I still don't have my ish together it seems.

The home-run hitter was hearing that being quiet is best. Shutting up to let someone talk, not trying to finish their sentences and predict the outcome, is the best way to earn someone's trust. Who knew?!?!

Funny enough - it says to shut up in the Bible, too ... kind of. Psalm 46:10 says "Be still, and know that I am God."

Be still. Hush. Don't move. Listen. Learn. Reflect. Meditate.

It's really hard for someone who likes to talk, to not talk. I wouldn't say I like to hear myself talk because, well, that's just weird, but talking is like "my thing."

So, I've been practicing. I've taken the measures necessary to practice active listening without being an overbearing loud mouth. I've learned so much with this one simple act. I've learned about different body languages and voice tones, thought processes and personal preferences. I've seen conflicts resolve themselves and I've learned that not everyone wants to talk, but it's amazing how much more people open up to you with just that one small act - shutting up.

It's also pretty amazing the way God reveals Himself to you when you're still, patiently waiting for his response. He is good, all the time. All the time, He is good.

And the cherry on top - People value a good, active listener.